Facts and figures

I thought perhaps I should take a wee look at some numbers, some levels... to do with my hearing (or lack of same)... create a benchmark kinda sorta thing? So I can compare stuff... a 'before and after'... just for myself. I know I'm going to need all the encouragement I can get so this might well help. Not very scientific but still... here is Caroline's Self Help Study :)

So... lying in bed, next to the man I love, no hearing aids in and he speaks. On a scale of 1-10 (10 being perfectly understood), how does that sound? In a word... shite. In a number...hmmm 3. Lips moving, mumbles apparent. Words deciphered, 2 out of six. NONE if lips not on view. Shouting helps, but still sounds muffled...I do at least get the message. Words only normally decipherable if actually spoken (not shouted as that deforms the voice) in my ear from NO inches away. Consider the implications of this... or perhaps don't.

Same man I love, now standing bollock naked next to the bed and speaking in a normal voice (I am told) - result without aids in ...zilch. Speaking in a raised voice (aka shouting at me, which I hate as he's not great at doing that without the accompanying grimaces of someone shouting at you, and naked it's worse, honest!)... hmmm 5. Words deciphered, probably half. About par for the course. I probably filled in the other half in the way we HoH folks do... pot luck! Some you win, some you lose.

TV. I can't watch any TV (well, I can watch but can't HEAR it) without my audio loop. (Love love love my ringleiding! They should be built in everywhere but of course they're not, and even where they are they're not switched on or not at a useful level... pet hate of mine!... but I digress.) And I still need subtitles for everything even when using the loop. I generally watch tv with sound muted on the tv, as am on my own mostly, and hear the sound directly to my hearing aids. But for the purposes of this 'study' lemme check...

Hearing aids in... with my back to the tv, absolutely lowest level I hear a sound (which is in any case indecipherable) is no. 18 on the volume scale of my B&O telly. No. 23 is what I can use it for if I need sound on (if say, watching something together and then I suspect it is too loud for him) but then I do really still need the subtitles too. Totally useless to me but, just to get the level. The beeps at the audiological centre test are equally useless and they are used to measure what we hear (a huge annoyance because why is that used? It's such a useless test! But I suppose they need a level of some sort and everyone gets the same test). So...

Hearing aids out....TV is turned to 45 for me to hear the first wee sound! All still indecipherable and practically speaking still of no use without subtitling, it's just a mumble to me. Sheesh... I did not know that! hahaha. Won't put it higher...the dog was like bouncing off the couch already and it hurt even MY ears on switching my aids back on. Bloody hell! I've not tried that for years hahahaha

OK what's next?

In the bus or train... hmmm this is a funny one actually. I can often hear him fine! He can't hear me... too noisy!? But my directional mics must shut out extraneous noise and speech is ok... He can't even hear himself, but I hear me and him fine. Hah, maybe he needs hearing aids ;) Actually no he bloody doesn't. J is a good partner for a deaf person because he can hear a pin drop on a cushion through two closed doors! (Or a sweety jar being opened surreptitiously from one flight up!) Bloody annoying!

Noisy situations in general... say a reception or party or just a large group of folks together for whatever reason, are very tiring and frustrating. Scale of 1-10? Minus 6! It's all just a noise really. I manage, struggle along and laugh and smile (in all the wrong places I know) but you can only do even that for so long before your head explodes. Sure I've had conversations in these situations, I manage with a struggle,  but if the person talking to me knew, even in the best of circumstances, how much of what they say is being (badly) lip-read, or plain guessed... Of course when they know I'm HoH they can laugh along with me when I respond inappropriately, but if I haven't actually mentioned my wee problem yet (I dont have it written on my forehead) I can get the funniest looks and a gradual shuffling to the side to escape me :) True story!

'We', HoH folks, are told to make sure folks know we are HoH, to ask for repeats, to ask to be spoken to directly and no mouths covered... and I do, honestly... but you can't continually, you just really can't. And the best of folks forget, or get frustrated after the third repeat, and fun conversation goes out the window if you have to stutter it to keep the deafie informed. So I am curious to know how these situations will change with my CI. I am trying not to put too many eggs in one basket... any improvement will be great.

I'm looking forward to being tested on 'words spoken behind a paper'...or a hand, whatever, mouth hidden, normal tone of voice. Because I basically only very rarely and with a touch of luck, make out what is said then. With the CI, this should...will...gradually improve. Now there will be some numbers to report on! I'm excited just thinking of this. It will take practice I know.

I am aware of, and am prepared for, the possibility of losing the remaining hearing in my left ear after the op. I'm told it may be saved but have to consider it lost until proven otherwise. Now, this is not a huge loss to be honest as, without my HA it's as good as useless anyway, The point is I can still hear with an aid in there. So the hope is of course that the CI will (eventually, I know, not immediately) create an improvement. If the op damages what is left, then that ear will be completely deaf without the CI and a HA will be useless for it. I was told he always of course tries to save it but that once in the cochlea, the wires kinda do their own thing. If he needs it to work it doesn't and when it doesn't really matter, it does... so he's very honest about it... Dr. Topsakal. I have every faith... for some reason. Don't know him from Adam but it's surely for the best to trust the guy about to drill a hole in your skull.

Now the doc also said that normally they operate on the best ear, to give the best chances of improvement, but my ears don't differ very much and I do favour my right as it was best for longest. So although the right is marginally better, he will 'do' the left for me. I'm glad about that as, even psychologically speaking, I'd prefer to have a tiny bit of hearing boosted by a HA on the right, rather than the left if that's all I'm getting... weird but true.

I think I've covered everything now. I look forward to looking back on this and comparing things :) Three weeks or so to go! NY countdown has begun. Op naar 2014!