The title will become clear when you've read to the bottom.
Now, I think it is clear to everyone that knows me… I’m (as good as) deaf. An acquired deafness, not born so, but I’ve taken to saying deaf, rather than hard of hearing because HoH is just a useless indication altogether. Just HOW hard of hearing is the person (in this case me)? Just a bit? Medium hearing loss (what’s medium)? Nobody can tell. So we ‘deafies’ are confronted with various approaches to our ‘disability’ such as:
1. The Ignorer (‘You are after all wearing an aid so I’ll just act like there isn’t a problem.’) There really is! Aids are just that, aids. They don’t magically make everything clear.
2. The Shouter (‘I’m helping you I’m sure’) No, you really are not. The louder you get the more deformed your words sound.
3. The Articulator (‘I’m aware of your problem so I will speak to you like you are an imbecile’.) Words pronounced over-exaggeratedly, of use to neither man nor beast and pretty embarrassing actually.
There are more categories I’m sure… all equally useless,
embarrassing and basically INSANE. The only thing that helps anyone with any
level of hearing loss, is to face them, show your mouth and speak clearly. Yes,
articulate, pronounce words properly but don’t grimace at them with your mouth
stretched into impossible, unimaginable shapes not relevant to the word spoken!
Often as not, they still won’t get all you have said, despite whatever hearing
aid they might be wearing, but they will feel understood and appreciated if you
just try and include them. Counts for loads!
I am not 100% deaf, maybe like 98%. If you speak loudly
right up at my right ear, I’ll hear it. Yell all you like in my left, I won’t.
So what use is it to say I’m HoH? None, that’s what. If I wear my one hearing
aid, I pick up quite a lot but if you see me (anyone!) with just that, just
call me (them) deaf and handle accordingly. With patience and a bit respect, please. Do not assume I can just hear you as you hear me. I really don’t. I
often enough say I do, but even I know, I really, really don’t. I’m envious of
hearing people, I used to BE one.
If my CI is on (Med-El Rondo2, fabulous, thanks very much), AND my hearing aid, which is all day, every
day now, barring accidents, I am 98% hearing, but still HoH. I really am! I
hear stuff I never knew I didn’t before but there is still stuff that gets
missed! And that’s me. Not everyone with a CI (and/or hearing aids) hears as
well as I do, and you can’t know. And
sometimes I, for whatever reason, am not wearing my HA, just my CI, and then, what I pick up
can be slightly less than with, so…
the degrees and combinations are endless.
My point is, none of us can know just how much another
hears, with or without aids. If you, yes you, notice in whatever way, that
someone is obviously not hearing right (perhaps you even notice their, often
minuscule, aid(s) ), give them a break eh? Assume ‘deaf’ and include them in
the conversation, take a bit of time, help out a bit and don’t treat them like
they had their brains removed in exchange for a hearing aid. Be glad you can
hear! I have made huge advances in my hearing since getting my CI (I actually, usually
feel I’m the hearing one in HoH company because of it) but I am acutely aware
that ‘come the apocalypse’ I will be snookered. I need batteries, I need a charger!
I still wish everyone would learn signing from primary on.
I try, but it just won’t flow. Partly because I do hear ‘too much’ to make it
feel necessary for me I think, and even then it’s only useful to me among other
signers of course. But if they started now, officially, in the curriculum, ten/twenty
years from now it would be so commonplace that we’d wonder why it took so long
to start it up! It is now an officially recognised language in The Netherlands
(not sure about the UK?) so that’s a start. It’s not that long ago even the deaf in NL were not permitted to use it and were not taught it at school!
So, dear reader, we, the (late) deaf (born deaf use a capital I read somewhere, they’re Deaf, and I’m not speaking for them as even with aids, they’re a different category, if similar) would appreciate a bit of understanding and patience. Walk, in another man’s shoes once in a while why don’t you. There are lots of different ‘lesser-abled’, I can’t speak for any of them, just the hard of hearing… no, deaf. Like the BLM campaign, which was hijacked by the ALL Lives Matter nonsense (nobody said they didn’t Patrice!) I’m starting an awareness acronym that is for us – A not-that-other-groups-are-any-less-important-but-it makes-for-a-way-too-long-acronym, acronym. I’m calling it PLAID - Please listen and include deafies. So if you see it on a badge (button) anywhere, you’ll know! Actually… plaid is another word for TARTAN, so, just by association, if you see THAT on a button, you know it means PLAID - Please listen and include deafies!
I think it’ll take off, what do you think? TARTAN YA BASS! :-D
