Gleaned the following from an article online somewhere...(no idea where now, had cut and pasted it on here 'for later', then forgot about it). So, apologies for not quoting the source.
"Een CI blijt een hulpmiddel", legt Esther uit. "Het zal nooit een normaal horend oor worden."
Translation:
'A CI remains a tool', Esther explained. 'It will never be a normally hearing ear.'
Nicely put Esther, whoever you are :)
I think a lot of folks think that a CI turns the wearer into just that... someone with normal hearing. Someone even made it clear they thought that now I'd had the operation (and still had no processor on my head at all!) I could now hear. This is of course not so and I can't stress it enough - If the CI is not worn... deaf. CI worn and switched on and even tuned in as best as possible... well, it's next to perfect for each individual (and always an advancement I'd think?) but everyone is different. If I'd been born deaf and never heard a thing ever, then got a CI, I would think any amount of sound could be classed as perfect (I surmise). I am (ok, was) a hearing person, with knowledge of sounds, so what I'm hearing now is (for me) close to perfect, but still not quite. So having one is beyond fabulous, but I do still miss certain sounds a normal ear picks up. Ears are fabulous things - really incredible!
Having said that all that... check my results here below!! They came in with the post today. Bloody good eh? This sort of test is taken in optimum circumstances (soundproofed room) with an articulate speaker, enunciating nicely. So 'normal' circumstances it ain't. But it of course gives a fabulous indication of improvements. Take a look.
CI = Cochlear implant, HA = Hearing Aid, R = Right, L = Left, xxx = not measured
Sounds / Words
Pre-op
HA L 41% 18% (?? so low!)
HA R 33% 18%
HAs R and L 62% 33%
Seems that this definitely advocates for two HAs and shows that having only one HA in is a real disadvantage. With two the scores are so much better (if still crap). I had no idea that this happened, although if I think about it, of course two was always better than one. The debate continues about two CIs, but that's for another day.
Post-op (aka last Thursday!)
HA (R) only 62% 36%
CI (L) only 74% 45%
CI+HA 84% 61%
Not sure I understand this result as HA (R) looks like it's more or less the same as having both HAs in pre-op, hmmm... perhaps I'm reading it incorrectly? Will inquire.
--------------------------
CI+HA Pre-op Post-op
sentences (syllables) 57% 90% (speaker's mouth not visible)
xxx 100% (speaker's mouth visible) (!!!)
stories xxx 44 words per minute (wpm) (mouth not visible)
xxx 86 wpm (mouth visible) (I was getting tired now - I mean perhaps I'd have done even better if less whacked out.)
As you can see, I apparently only 'got' just over half of sentences (syllables) spoken before I had a CI, now I get 90-100% depending on whether or not I see the mouth. Again, in these optimum circumstances. But that's incredible really. Very pleased about it all and it's nice to see it in statistics.
We're off to Edinburgh this weekend so I'm quite looking forward to being surrounded by English (ahem, Scots) speakers with my accent. I want to see how I fare there because I do think it's less tiring, just 'hearing, without actually listening'. I am fluent in Dutch but I do have to concentrate more although that's also to do with my deafness. English, and Scottish English more particularly, just gets through easier... I think. Of course J and I speak English all the time to one another, but I don't pick up gossip in the bus, or in any kind of group situation other than in Dutch (or diverse 'English as a 2nd language' plus Oz, Yank and SA accents, if I'm around any of the International Almere crew). In fact I tend to (have tended to) switch off (not literally, just in my head) and don't actively listen any more because I miss(ed) half of what was said - as is clear from the results above! The speech therapist mentioned that I have to relearn, teach myself, not to do this. You folks with working ears can't switch off like I can! nja nja, ni-nja nja! Pardon my vacant look, I'm actively not listening!
Hearing only half of a conversation is tiring... (but so now, is hearing the whole bloody thing!) And it's not that you hear the best half - it's perhaps ever other word, or every familiar word, or three whole words together, then a jumble of grunts, then yaaaay a whole sentence because it was said louder for some reason, then two exclamations and a laugh. So you laugh too! Hoping no-one asks you what you thought of that then! If you're lucky, your brain will have filled in the missing bits fairly accurately. If you have a brain that resembles soup (on a good day) you have totally misjudged things and make a complete tit of yourself. You have to laugh! Which I have found myself doing often enough when I really wanted to cry and hide my face in embarrassment.
Now? Now I'm being bombarded with, my god... whole sentences! How cool is that? But let's have a proper listen Caroline. But wait... do shut up you there, you're literally doing my brain in! Must you shriek so? You do know what you're saying is bollix eh? Zip it Mrs... You said that already! Jeezo!
So... train, train and train that brain. To accept this bombardment. To decipher it all. Nobody can do it all at once, even if you (me!) do think you can do that 'nae bother!' It's definitely a gradual thing.
But yeah, wonderful. Honestly, wonderful.
p.s. if this all appears in various fonts and looks terrible, apologies but I have no idea why, or how to fix it.
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Sunday, March 23, 2014
To be (improved) or not to be (improved).
That really is the question.
Wednesday past was tune-up day. I'm probably being a bit paranoid but when you have these beeps and peeps fired at you, and you have to say whether things sound better now... I do wonder if I'm making a fool of myself. Saying 'yes, that's better than before'... when it's really just the bloody same!? It's hard actually, as the beeps set my tinnitus off big time so did I really hear that beep or...?
However, adjustments were made and the previous settings were moved to the 2nd programme button, so I could return to that if needed. Last time, I didn't switch more than once, just to try it. This time, I keep checking to see if maybe the last one was indeed better than this one. I think maybe it is. It's louder without being annoying and although the tinkles are still there, it doesn't have the boom/pop noises at low levels. I know the idea is that your brain adjusts eventually but it doesn't seem to be moving yet this time around so I think I'll opt for last settings... last before this one that is. Of course adjustments are made according to what I say when they're adjusting things but like I said, it's not easy. Anyway... will continue to check back now and then and we'll see what gets said at next appointment in a fortnight.
Thursday past was a tiring one. First a hearing test (also setting my tinnitus off big time). There is some remaining hearing in the left ear but basically of use to man nor beast. Next came a chat with the CI group's social worker which was funny in a way because when she asked how things had gone and how they were now, I just said all things positive. If J hadn't been there she still wouldn't know I'd had any problems at all! Was totally forgetting to mention the bruising, the black eye, the dizziness that kept on for 10 days... my memory is shocking. Not that I've forgotten it all entirely, but that it didn't occur to me when specifically asked. Eejit.
It may also have been the idea of 'social worker... argh'. Something akin to 'psychiatrist... argh' or 'psychologist... argh'. You talk to them, you keep thinking 'am I saying it right?', 'am I saying too much?', 'should I say this at all?'... or is that just me?! These professions tend to set me on the back foot... so to speak... and yet they know which buttons to press, which questions to put. Oh well, I feel that way anyway. But we survived, dignity intact and all very pleasant :)
Next was the tiring bit, with the speech therapist. First, I had to face a stereo speaker and repeat the words spoken - CI in only, then HA in only. Then I had to face the therapist and repeat phrases she spoke aloud, after reading a synopsis of the story she was reading from (so I more or less knew what she was talking about). She spoke the phrases behind the paper she was reading from. Then another two stories, this time using a stopwatch to check how long I took over things. That was certainly harder but I think I did not too badly. Still to get the results as by this time, not surprisingly, I was actually shattered. Strange but true.
We have some 'homework' again... similar to the tests, with some daft story or other about a princess marrying one of three brothers blabla (HAH!) and although I know the story it's correct to keep trying it repeatedly so, that's what we'll do.
So, still in love with my CI that's for sure. I pity those without one! I love the way it just pops onto my head. I love that you can get stickers to gussy it up. I love the improvement to my hearing, that's for sure! I also went to Almere's deaf club last week to show it off to my friends there. They are such a nice bunch and always welcome me like the prodigal when I turn up still not using enough signs (shame on me after having lessons!). They're all very happy for me with my CI too and those there that also have one were fascinated by the Rondo as it's still new and not well known. I love watching them conversing and trying to follow the discussion. I'm no good at it but also find that strange as you can 'listen in' to folks (if you know signs) even when not taking part. Different etiquette I suppose, although of course, hearing folks listen in to others too. I will continue to visit now and then as they're such a nice bunch and always make me laugh.
Listen via the links below for a fairly accurate interpretation of how things sound through one at first. It's already better (for me) and it's getting better all the time
tralala
Speech (normal): Fragment uit het JASMIN-spraakcorpus/upload/278353_391_1235467348061-Spraakfragment_normaal.wav
Speech (CI): Fragment uit het JASMIN-spraakcorpus/upload/278354_391_1235467418987-Spraakfragment_CI.wav
Music (normal): Jess – It’s not gonna be me /upload/278280_391_1235388450903-Muziekfragment_normaal.wav
Music (CI): Jess – It’s not gonna be me /upload/278281_391_1235388599545-Muziekfragment_CI.wav
Wednesday past was tune-up day. I'm probably being a bit paranoid but when you have these beeps and peeps fired at you, and you have to say whether things sound better now... I do wonder if I'm making a fool of myself. Saying 'yes, that's better than before'... when it's really just the bloody same!? It's hard actually, as the beeps set my tinnitus off big time so did I really hear that beep or...?
However, adjustments were made and the previous settings were moved to the 2nd programme button, so I could return to that if needed. Last time, I didn't switch more than once, just to try it. This time, I keep checking to see if maybe the last one was indeed better than this one. I think maybe it is. It's louder without being annoying and although the tinkles are still there, it doesn't have the boom/pop noises at low levels. I know the idea is that your brain adjusts eventually but it doesn't seem to be moving yet this time around so I think I'll opt for last settings... last before this one that is. Of course adjustments are made according to what I say when they're adjusting things but like I said, it's not easy. Anyway... will continue to check back now and then and we'll see what gets said at next appointment in a fortnight.
Thursday past was a tiring one. First a hearing test (also setting my tinnitus off big time). There is some remaining hearing in the left ear but basically of use to man nor beast. Next came a chat with the CI group's social worker which was funny in a way because when she asked how things had gone and how they were now, I just said all things positive. If J hadn't been there she still wouldn't know I'd had any problems at all! Was totally forgetting to mention the bruising, the black eye, the dizziness that kept on for 10 days... my memory is shocking. Not that I've forgotten it all entirely, but that it didn't occur to me when specifically asked. Eejit.
It may also have been the idea of 'social worker... argh'. Something akin to 'psychiatrist... argh' or 'psychologist... argh'. You talk to them, you keep thinking 'am I saying it right?', 'am I saying too much?', 'should I say this at all?'... or is that just me?! These professions tend to set me on the back foot... so to speak... and yet they know which buttons to press, which questions to put. Oh well, I feel that way anyway. But we survived, dignity intact and all very pleasant :)
Next was the tiring bit, with the speech therapist. First, I had to face a stereo speaker and repeat the words spoken - CI in only, then HA in only. Then I had to face the therapist and repeat phrases she spoke aloud, after reading a synopsis of the story she was reading from (so I more or less knew what she was talking about). She spoke the phrases behind the paper she was reading from. Then another two stories, this time using a stopwatch to check how long I took over things. That was certainly harder but I think I did not too badly. Still to get the results as by this time, not surprisingly, I was actually shattered. Strange but true.
We have some 'homework' again... similar to the tests, with some daft story or other about a princess marrying one of three brothers blabla (HAH!) and although I know the story it's correct to keep trying it repeatedly so, that's what we'll do.
So, still in love with my CI that's for sure. I pity those without one! I love the way it just pops onto my head. I love that you can get stickers to gussy it up. I love the improvement to my hearing, that's for sure! I also went to Almere's deaf club last week to show it off to my friends there. They are such a nice bunch and always welcome me like the prodigal when I turn up still not using enough signs (shame on me after having lessons!). They're all very happy for me with my CI too and those there that also have one were fascinated by the Rondo as it's still new and not well known. I love watching them conversing and trying to follow the discussion. I'm no good at it but also find that strange as you can 'listen in' to folks (if you know signs) even when not taking part. Different etiquette I suppose, although of course, hearing folks listen in to others too. I will continue to visit now and then as they're such a nice bunch and always make me laugh.
Listen via the links below for a fairly accurate interpretation of how things sound through one at first. It's already better (for me) and it's getting better all the time
tralala
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
All snazzied up
I've pimped my CI! And the remote too.
You can get these stickers for any model of CI (as you can for your mobile), even with your own pictures if you like. I chose Van Gogh's 'Starry Night', an old favourite of mine. Not expensive at all.
Here they are, showing back and front of the remote control unit:
Of course, every time I have the thing in my hand I'm singing Don McLean now too! It's getting annoying hahaha. But have a listen.
Actually, listening, on my computer, is not as easy right now as I only have the one hearing aid that is tuned in to my streamer (which is great for me to hear music with or talk on Skype). I still have to work out how to get the CI connected. Perhaps it's not possible? I also still have to dig out the extra mics I have had for years already. Apparently they are also ideal as extras with the Rondo.
Tomorrow is tune-up day again. I have had a fortnight with the louder settings and it's been all good, have to say. I did not use the 'old' settings even once. So much louder but not problematic even a little bit.
Birds are sounding even more bird like - I hadn't realised fully at first that it was just electronic noises that were coming through. So much more birdified now (it's a word - because I say so). Real twitters and tweets, trills and whistles. I'm not a birder by any means, but it's so nice to hear. I do still have (fainter than at first) these strange high pitched rattlings, accompanying all sounds... some more than others... and I suppose when things are adjusted tomorrow (harder again?) these will increase once more. They are a bit of a hindrance, but only a bit, and with the knowledge that they will eventually go, I don't really mind them. But I must remember not to act like they're no bother at all as perhaps they can make adjustments to minimise them too.
It still amazes me of course that, despite the CI being so much louder, really, streets ahead louder, it's not too loud. When you make a hearing aid louder, there is only so much it gives you, and things are by no means clearer because of being louder (again, which is why talking loudly to a person with hearing difficulties really does not work). So they are limited in comparison. Yet as loud as the CI sounded at first switch on, it has been made about 6 stages even louder since then! And it's a comfortable sound, very quickly. I suppose my brain does work (contrary to popular opinion hehehe).
We have been practicing with the listening homework I've been given. Not every day, but enough. Not hearing everything said, but now wondering if everyone does always hear everything everyone says? Is there a margin of error... so to speak? Still, it's no big deal to practice and it's interesting to try, just with the CI on and no hearing aid at first, then with the HA in... testing the difference. I look forward too to having a proper test with the CI in then out. I want to see the results there :)
This week we go twice to the UMC, Wednesday and Thursday. I will go alone tomorrow but Thursday we see the Social Worker too. Curious to know what she will have to say. Now in my 6th week since SOday I'm not sure that I'll have much more to report on my CI journey. It's already getting a bit samey and I don't want to be a complete bore about it all.
I may well just really 'blether' for the sake of it!
Monday, March 03, 2014
Apologies in Advance to Lionel Richie ;)
Hello!
I’ve been at home
with you
behind the blinds,
and daily I have read
your lips
a thousand times.
I sometimes think I
hear you
through the door….
Hello!
Is it me you’re
shouting for?
I can see I’ve not
heard right,
‘cause you show it in
your smile.
When all I’ve ever
wanted is to
talk with you a
while.
‘Cause you know I don’t
hear right
you really know just
what to do,
Though signing is too
much and
hard for you.
I longed to hear the
birds again out there.
And tell you I can
hear your voice
from down the stairs.
Sometimes it seemed
my batteries were low…
Hello?
Now I have to let you
know!
That the CI works a
charm
and I’m so much
better off.
Can you understand
how diff’rently
I’m hearing so much
stuff!
Tell me that you
think it’s great!
I just didn’t have a
clue,
it would be so fabby
baby…
thanks to you.
Hello!
Is it me you’re
shouting for?
Now you know my CI’s
on
And there’s nothing
left to do.
Are you somewhere up
the stairs now?
Am I irritating you?
Come on let’s go
practice more
For I haven’t got a
clue.
But let me start by
saying…
it’s all true.
Sunday, March 02, 2014
A short blether
Just because it really struck me today.
I regularly forget my glasses when I take Luna out first thing ('first thing' being not necessarily in the morning, just when I surface :) ). I do not like it one bit but tend to just persevere rather than go back for them when I finally wake up and notice. Spec wearers will know what I mean, you just can't see as far as you should be able to and it's not nice, even if livable. I am after all only away for half an hour, tops. If I was going to be away longer I would have to go back for them... it's one reason why I have them on a chain around my neck like the grammy I am. I know I'd lose them otherwise.
Today I didn't wear my CI as my hair was still wet from my shower and you mustn't let it get wet at all. So I only wore the hearing aid on my right ear. It's such a beautiful spring-like day, bright and sunny. My specs are on, my usual one hearing aid is in... off we go!
Well it was nothing short of horrendous! How on earth have I lived? I felt totally bereft. Yes, I could still hear things, just not much. Where are the birds? Somebody take this pillow off my head please! Of course I did wear two before, but I was (almost) used to wearing just one, since the operation. It's now practically incomparable!
The CI doesn't make things louder as such, it's not like when I use a different programme on my hearing aid that turns up the volume somewhat, and besides, louder is not generally clearer (a mistake usually made by everyone you speak to who talks louder instead of more articulated). It's just, well... richer with the CI. More 'normal'. It's hard to explain really but the quality of sound I'm getting is so much better, despite the continued 'tinkles' by certain sounds.
J asked why I need to wear my HA at all so I tested the difference, with and without. With is definitely better actually, gives a more rounded sound. He then posed the question 'if you had to choose, just HA, or just CI, which would you have?' Well there is no contest - CI all the way!
I will be getting my HA settings adjusted too (I think?). I'm due new ones but perhaps these can do with adjustment for a while yet. This also means I will have a spare one for the right ear. When I do get new ones, there will be no point in getting two as the hearing in the left ear is now virtually gone and useless even with a hearing aid - despite what I said shortly after the op about the hearing having been preserved. It's so marginal it's not worth worrying about. The CI takes care of it anyway.
Oh, and I can wear my cap(s). Not a problem after all! Sorry for the cap haters :)
I regularly forget my glasses when I take Luna out first thing ('first thing' being not necessarily in the morning, just when I surface :) ). I do not like it one bit but tend to just persevere rather than go back for them when I finally wake up and notice. Spec wearers will know what I mean, you just can't see as far as you should be able to and it's not nice, even if livable. I am after all only away for half an hour, tops. If I was going to be away longer I would have to go back for them... it's one reason why I have them on a chain around my neck like the grammy I am. I know I'd lose them otherwise.
Today I didn't wear my CI as my hair was still wet from my shower and you mustn't let it get wet at all. So I only wore the hearing aid on my right ear. It's such a beautiful spring-like day, bright and sunny. My specs are on, my usual one hearing aid is in... off we go!
Well it was nothing short of horrendous! How on earth have I lived? I felt totally bereft. Yes, I could still hear things, just not much. Where are the birds? Somebody take this pillow off my head please! Of course I did wear two before, but I was (almost) used to wearing just one, since the operation. It's now practically incomparable!
The CI doesn't make things louder as such, it's not like when I use a different programme on my hearing aid that turns up the volume somewhat, and besides, louder is not generally clearer (a mistake usually made by everyone you speak to who talks louder instead of more articulated). It's just, well... richer with the CI. More 'normal'. It's hard to explain really but the quality of sound I'm getting is so much better, despite the continued 'tinkles' by certain sounds.
J asked why I need to wear my HA at all so I tested the difference, with and without. With is definitely better actually, gives a more rounded sound. He then posed the question 'if you had to choose, just HA, or just CI, which would you have?' Well there is no contest - CI all the way!
I will be getting my HA settings adjusted too (I think?). I'm due new ones but perhaps these can do with adjustment for a while yet. This also means I will have a spare one for the right ear. When I do get new ones, there will be no point in getting two as the hearing in the left ear is now virtually gone and useless even with a hearing aid - despite what I said shortly after the op about the hearing having been preserved. It's so marginal it's not worth worrying about. The CI takes care of it anyway.
Oh, and I can wear my cap(s). Not a problem after all! Sorry for the cap haters :)
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