J and I have never been early risers. We managed with the kids - we took turns if we were both at home - and got ourselves to work when we had jobs too, even if I was often late for the office. But I don't remember once getting out of bed with a spring in my step, even when sleeping late. I'm just not an 'up in the morning' kinda gal.
I don't understand those 5 and 6 a.m. folks... doing stuff, enjoying hours of a day, long before I even stir. But yeah, they probably go to bed early and I really don't. Even when I had a job to go to, I was rarely in bed before ten. Now I'm often anything up to 2 and 3 a.m. Much to J's chagrin because for some reason he likes me to be tucked up long before him. Something vaguely to do with snoring or something. Hah! J is usually 3, sometimes 4 so his 'long lie', isn't really too bad. But neither of us are productive in those late hours. Never have been, so not likely to start any time soon.
My beef here is... why do I get moaned at for lying so late. Why is it my fault if he lies until eleven when he insists on wanting up at the crack of ten? There is an alarm clock on either side of our bed. Mine only gets used on days when I need to be somewhere, or if we've to catch an early flight or something. On the, admittedly rare occasion that I'm up first, my first thought should by all accounts be 'get him up!' Aye right! But if I don't, the mumps and grumps until the coffee has percolated its way to his brain cells are hellishly abundant and I know not to speak, let alone ask questions. Except of course I do, speak, and always do seem to have questions haha. It's not even really directed at me, I know that, but I have to listen to it. He's in a bad mood with himself, but... why? Get up earlier if it annoys you man! Doesn't annoy me in the slightest. I'm a paragon of joy in the morning! (ahem!) I've been known to lie until two pm even if I haven't even been late the night before, although that was when I was much younger. I could sleep for Scotland!
I have the decency to be a tad ashamed of myself lying so late in the day, but this is decidedly less in the winter than in the summer. Every summer I tell myself I'll get into a 'healthier' routine because even I know it's bad not to enjoy a nice summer's day. I'm also aware of my days being numbered so I feel it's bad, at times, not to fully 'enjoy' them. I'm ok with myself when it's raining though, and if it rains for days on end, I let go of my resolution entirely. Feck thon, up'n aboot in the rain? Winters, why the heck would I get up in the dark? To do... what exactly? When we travel, we're always up and out early enough and in bed at 'normal'ish times, but we never manage to keep it up once we get home again.
I make plans... in my head. I'm going to sort out the shed and give myself room to do... stuff. Pick up and pound some clay again. Paint! Make.. something. Doesn't happen. I tell myself if I lived somewhere with decent bloody weather for more than two days in a row I would... I know I would... but last summer or maybe it was the summer before that, was great, with weeks of nice weather and it didn't happen then either. Not enough hours in the day! ;)
But I was talking about the moans. Now, these are not rare in this house. From either quarter. How people get along day after day without moans is beyond my comprehension. But I have limits. At a certain point, the moaning has to be called to a halt. Better yet, shouldn't even start. The days of nary a moan, not one, even, needn't be all that abundant, I'm not so demanding and I like a bit of leeway to unburden myself too. But just when you think, hey, nobody's moaned today! or oh, it's been a moan-free area since three p.m. yesterday! it's disheartening to be confronted with a new, unsolicited moan the minute you lift the blinds.
So we need to work on this. Of course sometimes, like when I myself am the instigator of said moans, they are obviously well in proportion to whatever grievance I'm harbouring and I dish 'em out fairly and logically. Bedclothes are distributed across the floor or draped nicely down the lower stairs entirely as they should be! I've yet to throw anyone's clothes out of window but I'm not entirely averse to the idea and have marginally managed to curtail such moans at the last minute up until now. Time yet though eh?
But no. I won't. And although I can't be bothered with NY resolutions, I will today resolve to, maybe, not moan as much and not instigate moans from... other parties. Of course this will all go down the pan when moans are directed at me but hey, I'm trying here.
We're off for a few days to Krakow so, always fun and games when even getting to town here is a major expedition and quite the undertaking to get there without falling out but, looking forward to it. I've said fifty times, I'm going nowhere with you ever again! only to be planning a new trip within a couple of weeks haha. It's apparently what we do and how we go along. I wonder if I'd miss the moans, and having nobody to moan at, if we stopped moaning like, today. Maybe we should give it a go. Thon first thing in the morning one can definitely go, for me. Won't miss that at all.
Thursday, November 21, 2019
Saturday, November 16, 2019
The Tigofa Years
'It's bloody Saturday again already.'
I hear myself say it and realise... I say this, or similar, A LOT! Probably at least five times a week on the varying days in varying ways but all saying the same thing. 'Sheesh, Monday again already!' 'Woohoo, Friday again already!' It's like my life is racing away, despite the sedentary pace I tend to work. Apart from being a tad, well, predictable, it's infinitely boring. I should attempt to be a better conversationalist at the very least.
But it's true, it's Saturday again already! It's quite the phenomenon that you notice time flying by as you get older. It's already nearly Christmas for goodness sake! I'm sure there's a word for it. Bonkers! I hear you say, yeah, you're a hoot 'n a half.
Not actually knowing what the-older-you-get-the-faster-time-seems-to-go, is called - honestly, it's like 'you'll have had your tea!' and 'you're out of here!' all wrapped into one - I've decided to call it The Time Goes Fast Years... abbreviated to Tigofa... The Tigofa Years. Copyright, me! I'm not sure where exactly to lay the emphasis, I will leave that to the user. It's a wee bit reminiscent of The Big Yin's 'gettyfu' but with less sweary connotations. I would actually like the tigofa years to gettyfu but there is no taming them.
So, The Tigofa Years... you're welcome. Feel free to use it any time it's appropriate but remember where you heard of this life period first so-called. There's your childhood, your teenage, prime of life, middle age, then it seems to jump to The Tigofa Years! I'm quite chuffed with it and anything that makes the tigofa years go by with less irritation can't be a bad thing. Maybe somebody could invent the Slothfudo Years too though. (I'll leave that with you to decipher, answers on a postcard please ;) ).
I hear myself say it and realise... I say this, or similar, A LOT! Probably at least five times a week on the varying days in varying ways but all saying the same thing. 'Sheesh, Monday again already!' 'Woohoo, Friday again already!' It's like my life is racing away, despite the sedentary pace I tend to work. Apart from being a tad, well, predictable, it's infinitely boring. I should attempt to be a better conversationalist at the very least.
But it's true, it's Saturday again already! It's quite the phenomenon that you notice time flying by as you get older. It's already nearly Christmas for goodness sake! I'm sure there's a word for it. Bonkers! I hear you say, yeah, you're a hoot 'n a half.
Not actually knowing what the-older-you-get-the-faster-time-seems-to-go, is called - honestly, it's like 'you'll have had your tea!' and 'you're out of here!' all wrapped into one - I've decided to call it The Time Goes Fast Years... abbreviated to Tigofa... The Tigofa Years. Copyright, me! I'm not sure where exactly to lay the emphasis, I will leave that to the user. It's a wee bit reminiscent of The Big Yin's 'gettyfu' but with less sweary connotations. I would actually like the tigofa years to gettyfu but there is no taming them.
So, The Tigofa Years... you're welcome. Feel free to use it any time it's appropriate but remember where you heard of this life period first so-called. There's your childhood, your teenage, prime of life, middle age, then it seems to jump to The Tigofa Years! I'm quite chuffed with it and anything that makes the tigofa years go by with less irritation can't be a bad thing. Maybe somebody could invent the Slothfudo Years too though. (I'll leave that with you to decipher, answers on a postcard please ;) ).
Friday, April 26, 2019
A tweak here and there
Yesterday 25th April 2019, I went back to UMC Utrecht as the audiologist had been in contact with Med-El about the 'dodgy wire in the implant' and they have suggested to turn it off entirely and compensate with others. Now, while I'm perfectly happy with how things currently sound, if things can be improved, which I doubt, I'm happy to play along and now the audiologist had the time to mess with it.
The fact that the wonky wiring... bit of an exaggeration but let's call it that... could, in the future, prove problematic, was an incentive to at least attempt a workaround.
The audiologist as per usual explained it all to me. This was all very plain and perfectly understandable but I find that now have to reproduce said explanation here... not happening! So, just trust me, it was clear to me what the plan was.
She 'fiddled about, fiddled about' and I got beeps fired at me. I'd to indicate if too loud or not loud enough. It was strange to see how she was pressing the key to give a sound and I didn't hear anything until maybe key-stroke number 5 so I asked about that. I was worried that I should be hearing it come through sooner. But no, they start way too quiet to see just where you hear it come in. Made sense.
'So, how does this sound?'... well let me tell you kind lady, hysterical. Hughy, Dewy and Louie had entered the room! Nooo, can't have that! So a bit more fiddling, more adjustments, more beeps and I'd now to indicate if things were going in the right direction. They were indeed. It's fascinating stuff really!
Still sounded different so she kept my 'previous' mapping on the remote so I can switch back and forth. Wasn't crazy about this new sound at first but when I then switched to original... woah! Voice so deep?! How can that be? Well, my brain apparently does still work and had already kicked in to accept how this new sound is! Back again to the new one... much better! How strange!
So after nigh on an hour of all this, fixing, measuring, adjusting and trying-out, I leave for home. But oh! I'm not out of the building yet and the sound cuts out every few minutes? So back I go. Shame to waste the chance of a quick fix. I catch her just as she's taking in a new 'patient' so have to wait. I sit there for half an hour, nothing, no change, no cutting out. So I tell the receptionist to let her know I've left and not to worry. I walk the length of the corridor, cuts out twice! So I go back, it's a movement thing obviously? Then I realise, the processor is sitting on the hair tether! Sorted haha. I've not been using a tether with the old Rondo for about a year so had forgotten to make sure it's out of the way. Duh.
I wore my processor with the new settings all the way home. It's an improvement, definitely. Some voices (in the train) are still a little bit weird, so I was curious to know how J would sound when I got home. By the time I get off the train though, those voices don't sound silly any more! And neither did J. I kept switching things back to the old settings and the difference is pretty great actually and I'm definitely in favour of the new one.
I was told it wouldn't sound different on audio loop (tv) but there really is a difference - maybe she meant 'not different to not on the loop'. I'm not eloquent enough to explain though. How can familiar voices, that already sounded 'normal', suddenly sound different at first, but then shortly after, normal again, yet different to the first way you heard them when you check with the old settings? And yet, still good, better in fact? Confuses the hell out of me if I'm honest but just taking it as a given.
So, I'm down one wire but am improved! Now no chance of a problem with the wire because it's already switched off and compensated for. I bloody love what they can do!!
I've to let the audiologist know but we were already laughing at how amazing it was and it has only improved since then so, doubt I will need anything else done.
While hanging about there, I was approached by a man asking how satisfied I am with my CI. He had never met anyone wearing one and wondered could I tell him. Well, did I! I'm sure I made him really enthusiastic for one now! He was to be assessed and was still dubious but I did my usual blethers all about my Rondo(2). I should have taken his details, or given him mine, but I didn't. I hope he at least remembers the link I gave him (OPCI) to look up more info. and that he is accepted for getting an implant. For all I know it's not for him, but it won't be because I put him off :)
Latest news... I have been approached, don't know how actually, by Med-El here in NL, if I'd be amenable to taking part in an interview of some sort, about wearing a CI. So, of course, I'm up for that. Watch this space.
The fact that the wonky wiring... bit of an exaggeration but let's call it that... could, in the future, prove problematic, was an incentive to at least attempt a workaround.
The audiologist as per usual explained it all to me. This was all very plain and perfectly understandable but I find that now have to reproduce said explanation here... not happening! So, just trust me, it was clear to me what the plan was.
She 'fiddled about, fiddled about' and I got beeps fired at me. I'd to indicate if too loud or not loud enough. It was strange to see how she was pressing the key to give a sound and I didn't hear anything until maybe key-stroke number 5 so I asked about that. I was worried that I should be hearing it come through sooner. But no, they start way too quiet to see just where you hear it come in. Made sense.
'So, how does this sound?'... well let me tell you kind lady, hysterical. Hughy, Dewy and Louie had entered the room! Nooo, can't have that! So a bit more fiddling, more adjustments, more beeps and I'd now to indicate if things were going in the right direction. They were indeed. It's fascinating stuff really!
Still sounded different so she kept my 'previous' mapping on the remote so I can switch back and forth. Wasn't crazy about this new sound at first but when I then switched to original... woah! Voice so deep?! How can that be? Well, my brain apparently does still work and had already kicked in to accept how this new sound is! Back again to the new one... much better! How strange!
So after nigh on an hour of all this, fixing, measuring, adjusting and trying-out, I leave for home. But oh! I'm not out of the building yet and the sound cuts out every few minutes? So back I go. Shame to waste the chance of a quick fix. I catch her just as she's taking in a new 'patient' so have to wait. I sit there for half an hour, nothing, no change, no cutting out. So I tell the receptionist to let her know I've left and not to worry. I walk the length of the corridor, cuts out twice! So I go back, it's a movement thing obviously? Then I realise, the processor is sitting on the hair tether! Sorted haha. I've not been using a tether with the old Rondo for about a year so had forgotten to make sure it's out of the way. Duh.
I wore my processor with the new settings all the way home. It's an improvement, definitely. Some voices (in the train) are still a little bit weird, so I was curious to know how J would sound when I got home. By the time I get off the train though, those voices don't sound silly any more! And neither did J. I kept switching things back to the old settings and the difference is pretty great actually and I'm definitely in favour of the new one.
I was told it wouldn't sound different on audio loop (tv) but there really is a difference - maybe she meant 'not different to not on the loop'. I'm not eloquent enough to explain though. How can familiar voices, that already sounded 'normal', suddenly sound different at first, but then shortly after, normal again, yet different to the first way you heard them when you check with the old settings? And yet, still good, better in fact? Confuses the hell out of me if I'm honest but just taking it as a given.
So, I'm down one wire but am improved! Now no chance of a problem with the wire because it's already switched off and compensated for. I bloody love what they can do!!
I've to let the audiologist know but we were already laughing at how amazing it was and it has only improved since then so, doubt I will need anything else done.
While hanging about there, I was approached by a man asking how satisfied I am with my CI. He had never met anyone wearing one and wondered could I tell him. Well, did I! I'm sure I made him really enthusiastic for one now! He was to be assessed and was still dubious but I did my usual blethers all about my Rondo(2). I should have taken his details, or given him mine, but I didn't. I hope he at least remembers the link I gave him (OPCI) to look up more info. and that he is accepted for getting an implant. For all I know it's not for him, but it won't be because I put him off :)
Latest news... I have been approached, don't know how actually, by Med-El here in NL, if I'd be amenable to taking part in an interview of some sort, about wearing a CI. So, of course, I'm up for that. Watch this space.
Tuesday, April 02, 2019
Upgraded already!
It has been an incredibly fast five years since being implanted - Hole In The Head, HITHday, see blog for January 22nd 2014 - and then switched on - SOday, see blog for 12th of February 2014 - but with nothing but good to say about my MedEl Rondo, I have now received a new upgrade called the RONDO2 from MedEl.
Here's me listening to the beeps.
The switchover was totally painless, emotionally as well as physically. I actually thought I'd have to hand back my Van Gogh stickered Rondo and remote control but not a bit of it. Can keep it as a backup. I suppose it's no use to anyone else as it has to match a MedEl implant and it is after all 'out of date' so, happy to not say goodbye to it. I anyway still have the Opus2, which I wore only once to test it, so I figure I'm well covered.
The audiologist at UMC was great, very thorough and didn't rush anything at all. She was very reassuring and very explanatory about everything. They actually always are but she was really great. J came with me as he was there at the very start so thought to keep the momentum going, so to speak.
The only problem in five years that I had with my Rondo was that one time I couldn't get the lid back on, a little lip was bent. Immediately replaced. Never a bad day since.
I don't have and never have had, fancy programmes to switch to although I could ask for them. I always found them more of a pest than anything else, to be honest. You switch to 'this' situation, then forget and wonder why you can't hear well in 'this' situation. You are constantly fiddling with things and trying back and forth between settings... not for me. I know I'm deaf, I don't need to be constantly reminded! Swapping batteries is reminder enough but have always appreciated that the CI never 'runs down', it just warns you that soon it will stop and then does. No worrying about 'does it need changing because I'm not hearing enough with it'.
I have ONE programme, hears everything, I can adjust the volume if necessary but it rarely is and I can use the remote to pinpoint someone if necessary but it rarely is. Plus I use the remote to switch to T so I hear via an audio loop when needed (TV etc.). So no special 'music' programmes for me or situation settings. Just a new working ear. Full stop. Five years, never a problem and only continually improving. I really cannot praise things highly enough.
So now I have Rondo2 and the sound is exactly the same after setting things up. I wasn't sure if it was even possible to improve things and the audiologist was more 'if it's not broken, why fix it?' so I'm perfectly happy.
She did notice that internally (no idea how but they can read all that on the computer) one of the 'wires' was a bit wonky by my cochlea but testing with beeps proved it's still picking things up sufficiently. She switched it off momentarily and it was like she and J had taken a big suck at a helium balloon, so that was mildly hysterical. She switched it back on as that was just to show me that they can adjust and compensate even if it eventually packs in on that one wire. She will speak to the manufacturer, just to let them know but for now, no problem. If it was to get worse, then it's a known problem, something already noticed, which is cool. I would otherwise perhaps need a new implant so we don't want to go there unless absolutely necessary, and it's patently not.
I wore my 'old' Rondo home as the new is of course not yet insured and at €8.5K it's definitely the most expensive piece of jewellery I will ever have that's for sure. So very grateful. I am of course reminded every day on waking up, just how deaf I am without it and just how useless my hearing aids were. How the hell I managed with them I do not know, but it might well account for my inherent bolshie attitude, putting up with them driving me bonkers for as long as I did. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
I left the hospital with my two inches round (roughly) CI in a huge carry-on sized rucksack. Unreal! But the giant box inside comes with lots of bits and bobs, cables and chargers and accessories... an Artone 3 Max Wireless Streamer. Nice surprise! This is the one I almost paid €300 for a while back but decided to wait. Glad I did. That said, I can make head nor tail of the thing so it might be a while before I actually use it.
I put stickers of choice on my old Rondo, needed three new batteries every three days on average and had to buy special batteries for using the 'Waterwear' to swim with it. Rondo2 comes with four different lids, two fancy, two plain, easily swapped, and a charger, batteries no longer required. The internal, non-replaceable, rechargeable battery lasts up to 16 hours at a go, which should normally be sufficient but there is an external battery pack too, for the odd occasion I'm up partying all night. ;) I will have to have one or other with me any time I'm away from home but that's no huge problem. Huge saving, not having to buy batteries any more! One pack full of Waterwear comes free too, plus the whole thing is already damp resistant. There's a handy hair clip too. I hadn't been using one for about a year as it was fiddly to replace after breaking, but feel I should again, this being so new. It's a better one altogether.
side by side, Rondo Left, Rondo2 right.
All in all, it was like Christmas opening out the contents of the rucksack and the box. Whether I ever use the rucksack is beside the point but it's much more likely than the briefcase affair they gave me with the Rondo.
You can clearly see that Rondo2 is slimmer. It's also much lighter.
This is the USB charger pad with both EU and UK plugs (US and somewhere else too but I won't need them I don't think).
Over the last wee while, I've made new HoH friends who finally took steps towards getting an implant and two are currently still in the recuperation and practice period. One is a lot younger than me and one is a good bit older. I love how age is not a consideration! A third is up for the operation next week, same age. It has been wonderful to see the progress made by people I actually know and can discuss things with and it's all positive so far although no. 3 is nervous about losing what music she can still hear. I look forward to hearing about her progress.
A Rondo(2) is not often chosen but only because of fears about it falling off, not because of sound quality, which is exactly the same. I personally find the fear of it falling off to be unfounded although I'll admit to having sent it flying myself a couple of times through the years. It's a sturdy piece of equipment though and oh, that's a point, I didn't get a protective silicon sleeve for the new one. Hmm, maybe not needed? Might enquire about that.
There are no cables to worry about though, or fiddly bits needing renewed like on the behind-the-ear models, and the Rondo2 is even sleeker so I'm just all for the thing. Music reception too has improved exponentially over the years and I really feel they should use me as a walking advert for the thing because I'm crazy about it. Either directly in my CI or just as surrounding sound, I hear music pretty darned good and don't take my CI off at rock concerts even. I do still lift it that millimetre off my head at intervals, just to check what I'd be missing if I didn't have it on.
I still love having the advantage over hearing people of being able to just take it off my head so's not to hear rackets. Seriously, you go from longing to hear everything, to shuuut uuuup! I don't generally leave it off for long though, other than in bed, as the tinnitus starts the factory/bagpipes-at-the-tattoo/cheering crowds cacophony if I leave it off too long. But folks, it's your loss, honestly :)
I still wear my hearing aid in the opposite ear, finding it completes things. I cannot even remotely function with hearing aid alone. I find it next to useless, although it does pick up just enough to get by. With nothing, no CI and no HA, I only hear a tiny little bit if you shout in my HA ear (CI ear nothing at all). CI processor alone, millions better than HA alone, I could manage well without the hearing aid. Then add the HA to the CI... totally normal as far as I can assess... like 98%. So somehow the HA rounds things off. I don't quite understand how that works but I'll take it!
By the time I get my next upgrade, I will be almost 70. A sobering thought to imagine how isolated I'd have been for years already, without my implant. Not to mention I'll be almost 70! argh! This fabulous thing has improved the hearing of thousands over the whole world in the last 40 years, improving all the time, and I'm one of the lucky recipients. I suspect things will get even sleeker, perhaps totally internal, before even my next upgrade. I know they're already working on that.
Time will tell. I'm so lucky and so grateful.
p.s. Please ignore the weird layout... Who the hell knows how to do things when the draft looks perfecctly fine!
The switchover was totally painless, emotionally as well as physically. I actually thought I'd have to hand back my Van Gogh stickered Rondo and remote control but not a bit of it. Can keep it as a backup. I suppose it's no use to anyone else as it has to match a MedEl implant and it is after all 'out of date' so, happy to not say goodbye to it. I anyway still have the Opus2, which I wore only once to test it, so I figure I'm well covered.
The audiologist at UMC was great, very thorough and didn't rush anything at all. She was very reassuring and very explanatory about everything. They actually always are but she was really great. J came with me as he was there at the very start so thought to keep the momentum going, so to speak.
The only problem in five years that I had with my Rondo was that one time I couldn't get the lid back on, a little lip was bent. Immediately replaced. Never a bad day since.
I don't have and never have had, fancy programmes to switch to although I could ask for them. I always found them more of a pest than anything else, to be honest. You switch to 'this' situation, then forget and wonder why you can't hear well in 'this' situation. You are constantly fiddling with things and trying back and forth between settings... not for me. I know I'm deaf, I don't need to be constantly reminded! Swapping batteries is reminder enough but have always appreciated that the CI never 'runs down', it just warns you that soon it will stop and then does. No worrying about 'does it need changing because I'm not hearing enough with it'.
I have ONE programme, hears everything, I can adjust the volume if necessary but it rarely is and I can use the remote to pinpoint someone if necessary but it rarely is. Plus I use the remote to switch to T so I hear via an audio loop when needed (TV etc.). So no special 'music' programmes for me or situation settings. Just a new working ear. Full stop. Five years, never a problem and only continually improving. I really cannot praise things highly enough.
So now I have Rondo2 and the sound is exactly the same after setting things up. I wasn't sure if it was even possible to improve things and the audiologist was more 'if it's not broken, why fix it?' so I'm perfectly happy.
She did notice that internally (no idea how but they can read all that on the computer) one of the 'wires' was a bit wonky by my cochlea but testing with beeps proved it's still picking things up sufficiently. She switched it off momentarily and it was like she and J had taken a big suck at a helium balloon, so that was mildly hysterical. She switched it back on as that was just to show me that they can adjust and compensate even if it eventually packs in on that one wire. She will speak to the manufacturer, just to let them know but for now, no problem. If it was to get worse, then it's a known problem, something already noticed, which is cool. I would otherwise perhaps need a new implant so we don't want to go there unless absolutely necessary, and it's patently not.
And a very fine rucksack it is.
I left the hospital with my two inches round (roughly) CI in a huge carry-on sized rucksack. Unreal! But the giant box inside comes with lots of bits and bobs, cables and chargers and accessories... an Artone 3 Max Wireless Streamer. Nice surprise! This is the one I almost paid €300 for a while back but decided to wait. Glad I did. That said, I can make head nor tail of the thing so it might be a while before I actually use it.
Leaving the hospital with my wee rucksack.
All in all, it was like Christmas opening out the contents of the rucksack and the box. Whether I ever use the rucksack is beside the point but it's much more likely than the briefcase affair they gave me with the Rondo.
You can clearly see that Rondo2 is slimmer. It's also much lighter.
This is the USB charger pad with both EU and UK plugs (US and somewhere else too but I won't need them I don't think).
Over the last wee while, I've made new HoH friends who finally took steps towards getting an implant and two are currently still in the recuperation and practice period. One is a lot younger than me and one is a good bit older. I love how age is not a consideration! A third is up for the operation next week, same age. It has been wonderful to see the progress made by people I actually know and can discuss things with and it's all positive so far although no. 3 is nervous about losing what music she can still hear. I look forward to hearing about her progress.
A Rondo(2) is not often chosen but only because of fears about it falling off, not because of sound quality, which is exactly the same. I personally find the fear of it falling off to be unfounded although I'll admit to having sent it flying myself a couple of times through the years. It's a sturdy piece of equipment though and oh, that's a point, I didn't get a protective silicon sleeve for the new one. Hmm, maybe not needed? Might enquire about that.
There are no cables to worry about though, or fiddly bits needing renewed like on the behind-the-ear models, and the Rondo2 is even sleeker so I'm just all for the thing. Music reception too has improved exponentially over the years and I really feel they should use me as a walking advert for the thing because I'm crazy about it. Either directly in my CI or just as surrounding sound, I hear music pretty darned good and don't take my CI off at rock concerts even. I do still lift it that millimetre off my head at intervals, just to check what I'd be missing if I didn't have it on.
I still love having the advantage over hearing people of being able to just take it off my head so's not to hear rackets. Seriously, you go from longing to hear everything, to shuuut uuuup! I don't generally leave it off for long though, other than in bed, as the tinnitus starts the factory/bagpipes-at-the-tattoo/cheering crowds cacophony if I leave it off too long. But folks, it's your loss, honestly :)
I still wear my hearing aid in the opposite ear, finding it completes things. I cannot even remotely function with hearing aid alone. I find it next to useless, although it does pick up just enough to get by. With nothing, no CI and no HA, I only hear a tiny little bit if you shout in my HA ear (CI ear nothing at all). CI processor alone, millions better than HA alone, I could manage well without the hearing aid. Then add the HA to the CI... totally normal as far as I can assess... like 98%. So somehow the HA rounds things off. I don't quite understand how that works but I'll take it!
By the time I get my next upgrade, I will be almost 70. A sobering thought to imagine how isolated I'd have been for years already, without my implant. Not to mention I'll be almost 70! argh! This fabulous thing has improved the hearing of thousands over the whole world in the last 40 years, improving all the time, and I'm one of the lucky recipients. I suspect things will get even sleeker, perhaps totally internal, before even my next upgrade. I know they're already working on that.
Time will tell. I'm so lucky and so grateful.
p.s. Please ignore the weird layout... Who the hell knows how to do things when the draft looks perfecctly fine!
Thursday, January 31, 2019
Exciting news!
I'm getting an upgrade!
It's five years since my implant and switch on so, here in NL you are automatically in line for a new CI processor. I say 'automatically' but couldn't stop thinking about it and thought it would be a shame if it was delayed so, I 'enquired; hehe. 'Well yes, you are due in a couple of weeks' (switch on was three weeks after implant so only dates from that day... of course). My being a tad previous got the ball rolling and my spanking new MedEl Rondo 2 is now ordered and once 'in house' I will get appointments for a fitting.
I'm wondering if it will make much difference sound wise so it's quite exciting. Convenience wise, I will no longer have to buy batteries as you just charge it up every night. Hoping that goes smoothly! Should save at least a hundred bucks a year. Not a lot, given that the thing costs many thousands, so not complaining about having had to spend that much, just saying. It's also slightly smaller and lighter. There is still no direct Bluetooth connection unless wearing an audio loop but that's no insurmountable problem.
Watch this space for how it all goes.
It's five years since my implant and switch on so, here in NL you are automatically in line for a new CI processor. I say 'automatically' but couldn't stop thinking about it and thought it would be a shame if it was delayed so, I 'enquired; hehe. 'Well yes, you are due in a couple of weeks' (switch on was three weeks after implant so only dates from that day... of course). My being a tad previous got the ball rolling and my spanking new MedEl Rondo 2 is now ordered and once 'in house' I will get appointments for a fitting.
I'm wondering if it will make much difference sound wise so it's quite exciting. Convenience wise, I will no longer have to buy batteries as you just charge it up every night. Hoping that goes smoothly! Should save at least a hundred bucks a year. Not a lot, given that the thing costs many thousands, so not complaining about having had to spend that much, just saying. It's also slightly smaller and lighter. There is still no direct Bluetooth connection unless wearing an audio loop but that's no insurmountable problem.
Watch this space for how it all goes.
Friday, January 25, 2019
Memory
...as in: LOSING it.
It does worry me. A tad. Not a lot, not enough to make me get checked over. Just enough to make me look stuff up and worry some more.
It's like a competition in this house, seeing who's done the daftest thing or forgotten what was being spoken about in the middle of a conversation, again (say that to sound like Forrest Gump), but I suppose we all do that. That's what I tell myself anyway. There are, however, wee worrying signs. Wee hints that make you wonder... 'could it be a sign?...'
And yet... you don't want to sound like a total loony and wasting your doctor's time eh? And we do all forget stuff! So this blog, if nothing else, will record the times I did wonder.
Then I hear myself saying 'if it gets BAD, I won't know, so...' and 'if I do have Altzheimer's... let's call a spade a spade... or anything resembling it... do I want to know?' Total wipe-out time getting such a diagnosis... no? I mean, how long do you wait before topping yourself? Just that bit too long so that you don't?! And then live out your life in total limbo, not knowing anyone, until you forget how to swallow, how to breathe. It's really scary shit!
I am confronted on almost a daily basis with 'silly' things, which are confrontational enough but, like just the other day...
Facebook posted an 'on this day' thingy, as it does every day, and this particular 'memory' was a killer.
Let me quote it here, it's from six years ago.
17 Jan. 2013
Me: has been made to feel a Philistine once again but... Tom Waites singing Waltzing Matilda... Stuff of legend or painful to the average person's ears, deaf or not? I just don't get it, despite regular exposure over the last 40 years. Discuss.
Emma: That song will always play a big part in my life. One, as in general Tom Waits just reminds me of dad (in a good way). And two - T used to sing Waltzing Mathilda to Fin when unsettled and it straight away settled him. Then on our first visit to Holland when Fin was only 5 weeks old, he became unsettled and dad said: "I'll play him one of my favourite tunes, that'll sort him out." And low and behold - it was Tom Waits', Waltzing Mathilda. Settled Finlay straight away and made AJ & I well up. A beautiful moment. 😉 X
Me: Did not know that Emma. ... I like him more now 😁
Emma: you did know this at the time it happened. You were there and also welled up when we told you the link. Your memory is getting worse.
Me: Sure is, no recollection.
Me six years later:
funnier yet Em... I have no recollection of this recollection!
So that was a really strange one... something I really should have remembered back then already, and then forgetting being told about it, again, or actually, forgetting it had ever been discussed or mentioned before? My head's mince, telling ye! I forgot something from way back, was reminded but had no recollection six years ago, then just this week, forgot I'd been reminded and had no recollection of even the very discussion about it! And to top it all, more comments were made this week, but I had already forgotten what was being discussed and had to scroll up to read it again. Ok, so I'm remembering NOW but still... god but your brain, your memory... it's weird eh?
Then there's the total inability to tell you when we went to a particular place on holiday. I used to be able to remind myself with 'oh the kids were only xx years old then so it must have been 19xx'... but certainly since the millennium and no kids to go on... NO idea. Sometimes I'm even in doubt if we've been a place, which is why I like my FB photo albums. They really help. When I see a photo, I really do remember stuff, it's not a blank canvas entirely! Lots of times I'll actually know I was at such a place and we ate there and remember what a lovely meal we had there and we share the memories and it's all awww, but, when it was?... not a clue!
Folks dying too... Getting really bad at remembering when even folks important to me actually died. That bugs me. I should be able to say the date, the year at least! But nope, I need to look it up every bloody time. A couple of dates went by recently before I realised. This is not ok.
I wrote in here about getting my CI. Is why I started blogging at all. If it wasn't for Facebook, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't know the date of my operation and I'd honestly intended for that to be a big thing. Because it is! I told someone recently it happened in February and I know it was coming up to five years and switch on was after six weeks. Turns out, it was in January... five years was right, but I was switched on after only three weeks. And the recently operated person I'd told was amazed at herself being switched on at three weeks already and I amazed with her! I even said 'protocols change'. Until FB reminded me and I reread my own blog. It's confusticating! Why... HOW can I forget stuff like that? It makes it look like I don't care, am not bothered!
A few years ago already, (this has been going on a while) I sat at my desk with a pot of tea. Then went to put the kettle on and was searching for the teapot. Couldn't understand why it was on my desk and didn't believe it when I realised it had hot tea in it. Totally no recollection of making it! That was actually a scary one. Let's not count the times I've poured myself a cup of hot water, having totally forgotten the t-bag. I can laugh at it all, but it's starting to add up.
So I did a bunch of tests from the Internet last week. Pretty sure I managed them ok, but you only get a proper 'result' if you take it to the doctor. SAGE tests. I did all four available and did all four in less than half the allotted time. I refuse to believe they're a mess haha. And I can still draw a clock and put the pointy... thingies... what do you call them again? at the correct time. Hands, clock hands! See that's another bit of it, forgetting the words for familiar items. I put that down to confusion between Dutch and English but... dunno. Sometimes I can't think of the Dutch word either haha. Not always handy, me being a translator and all!
Daily, I can be scrolling down my FB page and I say to myself oh, must look that up... and scroll further, two, three seconds... and have NO idea what I was interested enough in, to want to look up. I can scroll back up but only sometimes do I find what it was, am reminded by something. I find that bloody annoying and mildly disconcerting. It's 99% unlikely to have been anything important but really, it could just as well be! It's, if I don't do 'whatever' right there and then, I'll forget. But then, if I do 'whatever' right there and then, I often enough forget what I was doing previously and pick up something else that interests me... or perhaps actually needs doing... and only remember I was in the middle of something when something else jogs my memory. It's frustrating to be me sometimes.
See for instance, for this very blog, I was looking up FB to try and find the memory with Emma I'd forgotten about. But got sidetracked and, two hours later, only just remembered that FB is open where I was trying to find it! I do despair! But hey, I found it, much further back than I thought (I'd have said three days tops, but it was a whole week!)
Then there's the boots I found in the cupboard a couple of years back... never seen them before! Obviously worn before and bought by me, myself and I, but had no recollection. Like getting new boots, so was great! haha. But I've since seen photos of myself in previous years, wearing them. So a wee light did eventually dawn but... it was really on a peep and I don't really remember buying them. Yet I have shoes in the same cupboard I've had for donkeys and do remember, well...not buying them exactly, but knew they were mine, Well of course I do! So this pair was weird. And cosy, if unfamiliar.
Missing items. The saga of the missing cheese slice. That was a corker really. Had the thing for years, suddenly, on returning from a trip, no longer in the kitchen drawer. My fault of course! 'You had it!' Now I knew I had taken it (long story, not important) but I also knew I'd brought it back, and this had been weeks previous. I knew I knew I knew I'd collected it! So weeks pass and I see a cheese slice being used... but it's not the cheese slice, it's a different one. Who bought that then? Not me! Not him! So where did that come from? Will forever remain a mystery. Another week further on and I wear a jacket not worn in months. What's in the pocket? The missing cheese slice! haha. Plus another one. We had two? So I had indeed brought it home, two even. But where on earth did the other one come from, the new one? Well, obviously I'd bought it at some point but... totally no recollection. Or maybe he did, who knows?
Then the scraper for the glass hob top. Hadn't had a blade for it in years so was tossed, with the idea of finally buying a new one. Could never find one! So, more years and we did without but I was always looking, not actively (my life isn't quite so boring) but you know, when you're out and about. I'm messing about in the shed this day and find... a new scraper, still in the packet. Who bought it? Probably me but it could have been anybody and neither of us knows when or how long it had been lying there. I'd only the week previously... I remember this part... bemoaned never being able to find this totally simple tool 'surely someplace has them!' And now here was one, must have been found, somewhere. This one had better last a long time as if it needs replacing, I still have no idea where to buy one! To add insult to injury, we've done without for so long, we find it not as useful as we'd hoped anyway.
...........................
It's a new day and before continuing to write this I checked my mail. Switching from mail to browser and I forgot why before the browser was open. It was to do something, prompted by... something... I just read in a mail! But I have no idea what, so... it's this that annoys, worries me, the most. I do this regularly and it really hinders me. My best bet is to just leave it alone, literally forget about it (how ironic is that) and sometimes, just sometimes, it comes back to me. But I'm talking seconds here. So even saying 'right I'll do it now before I forget' leaves me lost. Hmmm.
None of the above would speak for me being a very good witness I'm thinking. 'Yes your honour, it was definitely him. I remember seeing... [fill in the gaps].' Any good defence lawyer would rip me to bits! Totally unreliable testimony! Which would be so unfair if I really did remember something eh? :)
Even old memories, I sometimes wonder if I muddle them. They are my memories though so I suppose it doesn't really matter. Until it does. Like, if it causes a dispute about something important. You never know. So that's another wee worry. Me? Worry? Nonono.
I know that as my own mum got older we'd be saying 'aye, she's getting a bit... you know...' and I really don't want that for myself but worry I'm heading that way. Just don't let me catch you saying it!
Maybe I should start hanging address labels on everything, just in case, like evacuees during the war.
If you see me wandering about in dressing gown and slippers, please return to...
It does worry me. A tad. Not a lot, not enough to make me get checked over. Just enough to make me look stuff up and worry some more.
It's like a competition in this house, seeing who's done the daftest thing or forgotten what was being spoken about in the middle of a conversation, again (say that to sound like Forrest Gump), but I suppose we all do that. That's what I tell myself anyway. There are, however, wee worrying signs. Wee hints that make you wonder... 'could it be a sign?...'
And yet... you don't want to sound like a total loony and wasting your doctor's time eh? And we do all forget stuff! So this blog, if nothing else, will record the times I did wonder.
Then I hear myself saying 'if it gets BAD, I won't know, so...' and 'if I do have Altzheimer's... let's call a spade a spade... or anything resembling it... do I want to know?' Total wipe-out time getting such a diagnosis... no? I mean, how long do you wait before topping yourself? Just that bit too long so that you don't?! And then live out your life in total limbo, not knowing anyone, until you forget how to swallow, how to breathe. It's really scary shit!
I am confronted on almost a daily basis with 'silly' things, which are confrontational enough but, like just the other day...
Facebook posted an 'on this day' thingy, as it does every day, and this particular 'memory' was a killer.
Let me quote it here, it's from six years ago.
17 Jan. 2013
Me: has been made to feel a Philistine once again but... Tom Waites singing Waltzing Matilda... Stuff of legend or painful to the average person's ears, deaf or not? I just don't get it, despite regular exposure over the last 40 years. Discuss.
Emma: That song will always play a big part in my life. One, as in general Tom Waits just reminds me of dad (in a good way). And two - T used to sing Waltzing Mathilda to Fin when unsettled and it straight away settled him. Then on our first visit to Holland when Fin was only 5 weeks old, he became unsettled and dad said: "I'll play him one of my favourite tunes, that'll sort him out." And low and behold - it was Tom Waits', Waltzing Mathilda. Settled Finlay straight away and made AJ & I well up. A beautiful moment. 😉 X
Me: Did not know that Emma. ... I like him more now 😁
Emma: you did know this at the time it happened. You were there and also welled up when we told you the link. Your memory is getting worse.
Me: Sure is, no recollection.
Me six years later:
funnier yet Em... I have no recollection of this recollection!
So that was a really strange one... something I really should have remembered back then already, and then forgetting being told about it, again, or actually, forgetting it had ever been discussed or mentioned before? My head's mince, telling ye! I forgot something from way back, was reminded but had no recollection six years ago, then just this week, forgot I'd been reminded and had no recollection of even the very discussion about it! And to top it all, more comments were made this week, but I had already forgotten what was being discussed and had to scroll up to read it again. Ok, so I'm remembering NOW but still... god but your brain, your memory... it's weird eh?
Then there's the total inability to tell you when we went to a particular place on holiday. I used to be able to remind myself with 'oh the kids were only xx years old then so it must have been 19xx'... but certainly since the millennium and no kids to go on... NO idea. Sometimes I'm even in doubt if we've been a place, which is why I like my FB photo albums. They really help. When I see a photo, I really do remember stuff, it's not a blank canvas entirely! Lots of times I'll actually know I was at such a place and we ate there and remember what a lovely meal we had there and we share the memories and it's all awww, but, when it was?... not a clue!
Folks dying too... Getting really bad at remembering when even folks important to me actually died. That bugs me. I should be able to say the date, the year at least! But nope, I need to look it up every bloody time. A couple of dates went by recently before I realised. This is not ok.
I wrote in here about getting my CI. Is why I started blogging at all. If it wasn't for Facebook, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't know the date of my operation and I'd honestly intended for that to be a big thing. Because it is! I told someone recently it happened in February and I know it was coming up to five years and switch on was after six weeks. Turns out, it was in January... five years was right, but I was switched on after only three weeks. And the recently operated person I'd told was amazed at herself being switched on at three weeks already and I amazed with her! I even said 'protocols change'. Until FB reminded me and I reread my own blog. It's confusticating! Why... HOW can I forget stuff like that? It makes it look like I don't care, am not bothered!
A few years ago already, (this has been going on a while) I sat at my desk with a pot of tea. Then went to put the kettle on and was searching for the teapot. Couldn't understand why it was on my desk and didn't believe it when I realised it had hot tea in it. Totally no recollection of making it! That was actually a scary one. Let's not count the times I've poured myself a cup of hot water, having totally forgotten the t-bag. I can laugh at it all, but it's starting to add up.
So I did a bunch of tests from the Internet last week. Pretty sure I managed them ok, but you only get a proper 'result' if you take it to the doctor. SAGE tests. I did all four available and did all four in less than half the allotted time. I refuse to believe they're a mess haha. And I can still draw a clock and put the pointy... thingies... what do you call them again? at the correct time. Hands, clock hands! See that's another bit of it, forgetting the words for familiar items. I put that down to confusion between Dutch and English but... dunno. Sometimes I can't think of the Dutch word either haha. Not always handy, me being a translator and all!
Daily, I can be scrolling down my FB page and I say to myself oh, must look that up... and scroll further, two, three seconds... and have NO idea what I was interested enough in, to want to look up. I can scroll back up but only sometimes do I find what it was, am reminded by something. I find that bloody annoying and mildly disconcerting. It's 99% unlikely to have been anything important but really, it could just as well be! It's, if I don't do 'whatever' right there and then, I'll forget. But then, if I do 'whatever' right there and then, I often enough forget what I was doing previously and pick up something else that interests me... or perhaps actually needs doing... and only remember I was in the middle of something when something else jogs my memory. It's frustrating to be me sometimes.
See for instance, for this very blog, I was looking up FB to try and find the memory with Emma I'd forgotten about. But got sidetracked and, two hours later, only just remembered that FB is open where I was trying to find it! I do despair! But hey, I found it, much further back than I thought (I'd have said three days tops, but it was a whole week!)
Then there's the boots I found in the cupboard a couple of years back... never seen them before! Obviously worn before and bought by me, myself and I, but had no recollection. Like getting new boots, so was great! haha. But I've since seen photos of myself in previous years, wearing them. So a wee light did eventually dawn but... it was really on a peep and I don't really remember buying them. Yet I have shoes in the same cupboard I've had for donkeys and do remember, well...not buying them exactly, but knew they were mine, Well of course I do! So this pair was weird. And cosy, if unfamiliar.
Missing items. The saga of the missing cheese slice. That was a corker really. Had the thing for years, suddenly, on returning from a trip, no longer in the kitchen drawer. My fault of course! 'You had it!' Now I knew I had taken it (long story, not important) but I also knew I'd brought it back, and this had been weeks previous. I knew I knew I knew I'd collected it! So weeks pass and I see a cheese slice being used... but it's not the cheese slice, it's a different one. Who bought that then? Not me! Not him! So where did that come from? Will forever remain a mystery. Another week further on and I wear a jacket not worn in months. What's in the pocket? The missing cheese slice! haha. Plus another one. We had two? So I had indeed brought it home, two even. But where on earth did the other one come from, the new one? Well, obviously I'd bought it at some point but... totally no recollection. Or maybe he did, who knows?
Then the scraper for the glass hob top. Hadn't had a blade for it in years so was tossed, with the idea of finally buying a new one. Could never find one! So, more years and we did without but I was always looking, not actively (my life isn't quite so boring) but you know, when you're out and about. I'm messing about in the shed this day and find... a new scraper, still in the packet. Who bought it? Probably me but it could have been anybody and neither of us knows when or how long it had been lying there. I'd only the week previously... I remember this part... bemoaned never being able to find this totally simple tool 'surely someplace has them!' And now here was one, must have been found, somewhere. This one had better last a long time as if it needs replacing, I still have no idea where to buy one! To add insult to injury, we've done without for so long, we find it not as useful as we'd hoped anyway.
...........................
It's a new day and before continuing to write this I checked my mail. Switching from mail to browser and I forgot why before the browser was open. It was to do something, prompted by... something... I just read in a mail! But I have no idea what, so... it's this that annoys, worries me, the most. I do this regularly and it really hinders me. My best bet is to just leave it alone, literally forget about it (how ironic is that) and sometimes, just sometimes, it comes back to me. But I'm talking seconds here. So even saying 'right I'll do it now before I forget' leaves me lost. Hmmm.
None of the above would speak for me being a very good witness I'm thinking. 'Yes your honour, it was definitely him. I remember seeing... [fill in the gaps].' Any good defence lawyer would rip me to bits! Totally unreliable testimony! Which would be so unfair if I really did remember something eh? :)
Even old memories, I sometimes wonder if I muddle them. They are my memories though so I suppose it doesn't really matter. Until it does. Like, if it causes a dispute about something important. You never know. So that's another wee worry. Me? Worry? Nonono.
I know that as my own mum got older we'd be saying 'aye, she's getting a bit... you know...' and I really don't want that for myself but worry I'm heading that way. Just don't let me catch you saying it!
Maybe I should start hanging address labels on everything, just in case, like evacuees during the war.
If you see me wandering about in dressing gown and slippers, please return to...
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