'It's bloody Saturday again already.'
I hear myself say it and realise... I say this, or similar, A LOT! Probably at least five times a week on the varying days in varying ways but all saying the same thing. 'Sheesh, Monday again already!' 'Woohoo, Friday again already!' It's like my life is racing away, despite the sedentary pace I tend to work. Apart from being a tad, well, predictable, it's infinitely boring. I should attempt to be a better conversationalist at the very least.
But it's true, it's Saturday again already! It's quite the phenomenon that you notice time flying by as you get older. It's already nearly Christmas for goodness sake! I'm sure there's a word for it. Bonkers! I hear you say, yeah, you're a hoot 'n a half.
Not actually knowing what the-older-you-get-the-faster-time-seems-to-go, is called - honestly, it's like 'you'll have had your tea!' and 'you're out of here!' all wrapped into one - I've decided to call it The Time Goes Fast Years... abbreviated to Tigofa... The Tigofa Years. Copyright, me! I'm not sure where exactly to lay the emphasis, I will leave that to the user. It's a wee bit reminiscent of The Big Yin's 'gettyfu' but with less sweary connotations. I would actually like the tigofa years to gettyfu but there is no taming them.
So, The Tigofa Years... you're welcome. Feel free to use it any time it's appropriate but remember where you heard of this life period first so-called. There's your childhood, your teenage, prime of life, middle age, then it seems to jump to The Tigofa Years! I'm quite chuffed with it and anything that makes the tigofa years go by with less irritation can't be a bad thing. Maybe somebody could invent the Slothfudo Years too though. (I'll leave that with you to decipher, answers on a postcard please ;) ).
Saturday, November 16, 2019
Friday, April 26, 2019
A tweak here and there
Yesterday 25th April 2019, I went back to UMC Utrecht as the audiologist had been in contact with Med-El about the 'dodgy wire in the implant' and they have suggested to turn it off entirely and compensate with others. Now, while I'm perfectly happy with how things currently sound, if things can be improved, which I doubt, I'm happy to play along and now the audiologist had the time to mess with it.
The fact that the wonky wiring... bit of an exaggeration but let's call it that... could, in the future, prove problematic, was an incentive to at least attempt a workaround.
The audiologist as per usual explained it all to me. This was all very plain and perfectly understandable but I find that now have to reproduce said explanation here... not happening! So, just trust me, it was clear to me what the plan was.
She 'fiddled about, fiddled about' and I got beeps fired at me. I'd to indicate if too loud or not loud enough. It was strange to see how she was pressing the key to give a sound and I didn't hear anything until maybe key-stroke number 5 so I asked about that. I was worried that I should be hearing it come through sooner. But no, they start way too quiet to see just where you hear it come in. Made sense.
'So, how does this sound?'... well let me tell you kind lady, hysterical. Hughy, Dewy and Louie had entered the room! Nooo, can't have that! So a bit more fiddling, more adjustments, more beeps and I'd now to indicate if things were going in the right direction. They were indeed. It's fascinating stuff really!
Still sounded different so she kept my 'previous' mapping on the remote so I can switch back and forth. Wasn't crazy about this new sound at first but when I then switched to original... woah! Voice so deep?! How can that be? Well, my brain apparently does still work and had already kicked in to accept how this new sound is! Back again to the new one... much better! How strange!
So after nigh on an hour of all this, fixing, measuring, adjusting and trying-out, I leave for home. But oh! I'm not out of the building yet and the sound cuts out every few minutes? So back I go. Shame to waste the chance of a quick fix. I catch her just as she's taking in a new 'patient' so have to wait. I sit there for half an hour, nothing, no change, no cutting out. So I tell the receptionist to let her know I've left and not to worry. I walk the length of the corridor, cuts out twice! So I go back, it's a movement thing obviously? Then I realise, the processor is sitting on the hair tether! Sorted haha. I've not been using a tether with the old Rondo for about a year so had forgotten to make sure it's out of the way. Duh.
I wore my processor with the new settings all the way home. It's an improvement, definitely. Some voices (in the train) are still a little bit weird, so I was curious to know how J would sound when I got home. By the time I get off the train though, those voices don't sound silly any more! And neither did J. I kept switching things back to the old settings and the difference is pretty great actually and I'm definitely in favour of the new one.
I was told it wouldn't sound different on audio loop (tv) but there really is a difference - maybe she meant 'not different to not on the loop'. I'm not eloquent enough to explain though. How can familiar voices, that already sounded 'normal', suddenly sound different at first, but then shortly after, normal again, yet different to the first way you heard them when you check with the old settings? And yet, still good, better in fact? Confuses the hell out of me if I'm honest but just taking it as a given.
So, I'm down one wire but am improved! Now no chance of a problem with the wire because it's already switched off and compensated for. I bloody love what they can do!!
I've to let the audiologist know but we were already laughing at how amazing it was and it has only improved since then so, doubt I will need anything else done.
While hanging about there, I was approached by a man asking how satisfied I am with my CI. He had never met anyone wearing one and wondered could I tell him. Well, did I! I'm sure I made him really enthusiastic for one now! He was to be assessed and was still dubious but I did my usual blethers all about my Rondo(2). I should have taken his details, or given him mine, but I didn't. I hope he at least remembers the link I gave him (OPCI) to look up more info. and that he is accepted for getting an implant. For all I know it's not for him, but it won't be because I put him off :)
Latest news... I have been approached, don't know how actually, by Med-El here in NL, if I'd be amenable to taking part in an interview of some sort, about wearing a CI. So, of course, I'm up for that. Watch this space.
The fact that the wonky wiring... bit of an exaggeration but let's call it that... could, in the future, prove problematic, was an incentive to at least attempt a workaround.
The audiologist as per usual explained it all to me. This was all very plain and perfectly understandable but I find that now have to reproduce said explanation here... not happening! So, just trust me, it was clear to me what the plan was.
She 'fiddled about, fiddled about' and I got beeps fired at me. I'd to indicate if too loud or not loud enough. It was strange to see how she was pressing the key to give a sound and I didn't hear anything until maybe key-stroke number 5 so I asked about that. I was worried that I should be hearing it come through sooner. But no, they start way too quiet to see just where you hear it come in. Made sense.
'So, how does this sound?'... well let me tell you kind lady, hysterical. Hughy, Dewy and Louie had entered the room! Nooo, can't have that! So a bit more fiddling, more adjustments, more beeps and I'd now to indicate if things were going in the right direction. They were indeed. It's fascinating stuff really!
Still sounded different so she kept my 'previous' mapping on the remote so I can switch back and forth. Wasn't crazy about this new sound at first but when I then switched to original... woah! Voice so deep?! How can that be? Well, my brain apparently does still work and had already kicked in to accept how this new sound is! Back again to the new one... much better! How strange!
So after nigh on an hour of all this, fixing, measuring, adjusting and trying-out, I leave for home. But oh! I'm not out of the building yet and the sound cuts out every few minutes? So back I go. Shame to waste the chance of a quick fix. I catch her just as she's taking in a new 'patient' so have to wait. I sit there for half an hour, nothing, no change, no cutting out. So I tell the receptionist to let her know I've left and not to worry. I walk the length of the corridor, cuts out twice! So I go back, it's a movement thing obviously? Then I realise, the processor is sitting on the hair tether! Sorted haha. I've not been using a tether with the old Rondo for about a year so had forgotten to make sure it's out of the way. Duh.
I wore my processor with the new settings all the way home. It's an improvement, definitely. Some voices (in the train) are still a little bit weird, so I was curious to know how J would sound when I got home. By the time I get off the train though, those voices don't sound silly any more! And neither did J. I kept switching things back to the old settings and the difference is pretty great actually and I'm definitely in favour of the new one.
I was told it wouldn't sound different on audio loop (tv) but there really is a difference - maybe she meant 'not different to not on the loop'. I'm not eloquent enough to explain though. How can familiar voices, that already sounded 'normal', suddenly sound different at first, but then shortly after, normal again, yet different to the first way you heard them when you check with the old settings? And yet, still good, better in fact? Confuses the hell out of me if I'm honest but just taking it as a given.
So, I'm down one wire but am improved! Now no chance of a problem with the wire because it's already switched off and compensated for. I bloody love what they can do!!
I've to let the audiologist know but we were already laughing at how amazing it was and it has only improved since then so, doubt I will need anything else done.
While hanging about there, I was approached by a man asking how satisfied I am with my CI. He had never met anyone wearing one and wondered could I tell him. Well, did I! I'm sure I made him really enthusiastic for one now! He was to be assessed and was still dubious but I did my usual blethers all about my Rondo(2). I should have taken his details, or given him mine, but I didn't. I hope he at least remembers the link I gave him (OPCI) to look up more info. and that he is accepted for getting an implant. For all I know it's not for him, but it won't be because I put him off :)
Latest news... I have been approached, don't know how actually, by Med-El here in NL, if I'd be amenable to taking part in an interview of some sort, about wearing a CI. So, of course, I'm up for that. Watch this space.
Tuesday, April 02, 2019
Upgraded already!
It has been an incredibly fast five years since being implanted - Hole In The Head, HITHday, see blog for January 22nd 2014 - and then switched on - SOday, see blog for 12th of February 2014 - but with nothing but good to say about my MedEl Rondo, I have now received a new upgrade called the RONDO2 from MedEl.
Here's me listening to the beeps.
The switchover was totally painless, emotionally as well as physically. I actually thought I'd have to hand back my Van Gogh stickered Rondo and remote control but not a bit of it. Can keep it as a backup. I suppose it's no use to anyone else as it has to match a MedEl implant and it is after all 'out of date' so, happy to not say goodbye to it. I anyway still have the Opus2, which I wore only once to test it, so I figure I'm well covered.
The audiologist at UMC was great, very thorough and didn't rush anything at all. She was very reassuring and very explanatory about everything. They actually always are but she was really great. J came with me as he was there at the very start so thought to keep the momentum going, so to speak.
The only problem in five years that I had with my Rondo was that one time I couldn't get the lid back on, a little lip was bent. Immediately replaced. Never a bad day since.
I don't have and never have had, fancy programmes to switch to although I could ask for them. I always found them more of a pest than anything else, to be honest. You switch to 'this' situation, then forget and wonder why you can't hear well in 'this' situation. You are constantly fiddling with things and trying back and forth between settings... not for me. I know I'm deaf, I don't need to be constantly reminded! Swapping batteries is reminder enough but have always appreciated that the CI never 'runs down', it just warns you that soon it will stop and then does. No worrying about 'does it need changing because I'm not hearing enough with it'.
I have ONE programme, hears everything, I can adjust the volume if necessary but it rarely is and I can use the remote to pinpoint someone if necessary but it rarely is. Plus I use the remote to switch to T so I hear via an audio loop when needed (TV etc.). So no special 'music' programmes for me or situation settings. Just a new working ear. Full stop. Five years, never a problem and only continually improving. I really cannot praise things highly enough.
So now I have Rondo2 and the sound is exactly the same after setting things up. I wasn't sure if it was even possible to improve things and the audiologist was more 'if it's not broken, why fix it?' so I'm perfectly happy.
She did notice that internally (no idea how but they can read all that on the computer) one of the 'wires' was a bit wonky by my cochlea but testing with beeps proved it's still picking things up sufficiently. She switched it off momentarily and it was like she and J had taken a big suck at a helium balloon, so that was mildly hysterical. She switched it back on as that was just to show me that they can adjust and compensate even if it eventually packs in on that one wire. She will speak to the manufacturer, just to let them know but for now, no problem. If it was to get worse, then it's a known problem, something already noticed, which is cool. I would otherwise perhaps need a new implant so we don't want to go there unless absolutely necessary, and it's patently not.
I wore my 'old' Rondo home as the new is of course not yet insured and at €8.5K it's definitely the most expensive piece of jewellery I will ever have that's for sure. So very grateful. I am of course reminded every day on waking up, just how deaf I am without it and just how useless my hearing aids were. How the hell I managed with them I do not know, but it might well account for my inherent bolshie attitude, putting up with them driving me bonkers for as long as I did. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
I left the hospital with my two inches round (roughly) CI in a huge carry-on sized rucksack. Unreal! But the giant box inside comes with lots of bits and bobs, cables and chargers and accessories... an Artone 3 Max Wireless Streamer. Nice surprise! This is the one I almost paid €300 for a while back but decided to wait. Glad I did. That said, I can make head nor tail of the thing so it might be a while before I actually use it.
I put stickers of choice on my old Rondo, needed three new batteries every three days on average and had to buy special batteries for using the 'Waterwear' to swim with it. Rondo2 comes with four different lids, two fancy, two plain, easily swapped, and a charger, batteries no longer required. The internal, non-replaceable, rechargeable battery lasts up to 16 hours at a go, which should normally be sufficient but there is an external battery pack too, for the odd occasion I'm up partying all night. ;) I will have to have one or other with me any time I'm away from home but that's no huge problem. Huge saving, not having to buy batteries any more! One pack full of Waterwear comes free too, plus the whole thing is already damp resistant. There's a handy hair clip too. I hadn't been using one for about a year as it was fiddly to replace after breaking, but feel I should again, this being so new. It's a better one altogether.
side by side, Rondo Left, Rondo2 right.
All in all, it was like Christmas opening out the contents of the rucksack and the box. Whether I ever use the rucksack is beside the point but it's much more likely than the briefcase affair they gave me with the Rondo.
You can clearly see that Rondo2 is slimmer. It's also much lighter.
This is the USB charger pad with both EU and UK plugs (US and somewhere else too but I won't need them I don't think).
Over the last wee while, I've made new HoH friends who finally took steps towards getting an implant and two are currently still in the recuperation and practice period. One is a lot younger than me and one is a good bit older. I love how age is not a consideration! A third is up for the operation next week, same age. It has been wonderful to see the progress made by people I actually know and can discuss things with and it's all positive so far although no. 3 is nervous about losing what music she can still hear. I look forward to hearing about her progress.
A Rondo(2) is not often chosen but only because of fears about it falling off, not because of sound quality, which is exactly the same. I personally find the fear of it falling off to be unfounded although I'll admit to having sent it flying myself a couple of times through the years. It's a sturdy piece of equipment though and oh, that's a point, I didn't get a protective silicon sleeve for the new one. Hmm, maybe not needed? Might enquire about that.
There are no cables to worry about though, or fiddly bits needing renewed like on the behind-the-ear models, and the Rondo2 is even sleeker so I'm just all for the thing. Music reception too has improved exponentially over the years and I really feel they should use me as a walking advert for the thing because I'm crazy about it. Either directly in my CI or just as surrounding sound, I hear music pretty darned good and don't take my CI off at rock concerts even. I do still lift it that millimetre off my head at intervals, just to check what I'd be missing if I didn't have it on.
I still love having the advantage over hearing people of being able to just take it off my head so's not to hear rackets. Seriously, you go from longing to hear everything, to shuuut uuuup! I don't generally leave it off for long though, other than in bed, as the tinnitus starts the factory/bagpipes-at-the-tattoo/cheering crowds cacophony if I leave it off too long. But folks, it's your loss, honestly :)
I still wear my hearing aid in the opposite ear, finding it completes things. I cannot even remotely function with hearing aid alone. I find it next to useless, although it does pick up just enough to get by. With nothing, no CI and no HA, I only hear a tiny little bit if you shout in my HA ear (CI ear nothing at all). CI processor alone, millions better than HA alone, I could manage well without the hearing aid. Then add the HA to the CI... totally normal as far as I can assess... like 98%. So somehow the HA rounds things off. I don't quite understand how that works but I'll take it!
By the time I get my next upgrade, I will be almost 70. A sobering thought to imagine how isolated I'd have been for years already, without my implant. Not to mention I'll be almost 70! argh! This fabulous thing has improved the hearing of thousands over the whole world in the last 40 years, improving all the time, and I'm one of the lucky recipients. I suspect things will get even sleeker, perhaps totally internal, before even my next upgrade. I know they're already working on that.
Time will tell. I'm so lucky and so grateful.
p.s. Please ignore the weird layout... Who the hell knows how to do things when the draft looks perfecctly fine!
The switchover was totally painless, emotionally as well as physically. I actually thought I'd have to hand back my Van Gogh stickered Rondo and remote control but not a bit of it. Can keep it as a backup. I suppose it's no use to anyone else as it has to match a MedEl implant and it is after all 'out of date' so, happy to not say goodbye to it. I anyway still have the Opus2, which I wore only once to test it, so I figure I'm well covered.
The audiologist at UMC was great, very thorough and didn't rush anything at all. She was very reassuring and very explanatory about everything. They actually always are but she was really great. J came with me as he was there at the very start so thought to keep the momentum going, so to speak.
The only problem in five years that I had with my Rondo was that one time I couldn't get the lid back on, a little lip was bent. Immediately replaced. Never a bad day since.
I don't have and never have had, fancy programmes to switch to although I could ask for them. I always found them more of a pest than anything else, to be honest. You switch to 'this' situation, then forget and wonder why you can't hear well in 'this' situation. You are constantly fiddling with things and trying back and forth between settings... not for me. I know I'm deaf, I don't need to be constantly reminded! Swapping batteries is reminder enough but have always appreciated that the CI never 'runs down', it just warns you that soon it will stop and then does. No worrying about 'does it need changing because I'm not hearing enough with it'.
I have ONE programme, hears everything, I can adjust the volume if necessary but it rarely is and I can use the remote to pinpoint someone if necessary but it rarely is. Plus I use the remote to switch to T so I hear via an audio loop when needed (TV etc.). So no special 'music' programmes for me or situation settings. Just a new working ear. Full stop. Five years, never a problem and only continually improving. I really cannot praise things highly enough.
So now I have Rondo2 and the sound is exactly the same after setting things up. I wasn't sure if it was even possible to improve things and the audiologist was more 'if it's not broken, why fix it?' so I'm perfectly happy.
She did notice that internally (no idea how but they can read all that on the computer) one of the 'wires' was a bit wonky by my cochlea but testing with beeps proved it's still picking things up sufficiently. She switched it off momentarily and it was like she and J had taken a big suck at a helium balloon, so that was mildly hysterical. She switched it back on as that was just to show me that they can adjust and compensate even if it eventually packs in on that one wire. She will speak to the manufacturer, just to let them know but for now, no problem. If it was to get worse, then it's a known problem, something already noticed, which is cool. I would otherwise perhaps need a new implant so we don't want to go there unless absolutely necessary, and it's patently not.
And a very fine rucksack it is.
I left the hospital with my two inches round (roughly) CI in a huge carry-on sized rucksack. Unreal! But the giant box inside comes with lots of bits and bobs, cables and chargers and accessories... an Artone 3 Max Wireless Streamer. Nice surprise! This is the one I almost paid €300 for a while back but decided to wait. Glad I did. That said, I can make head nor tail of the thing so it might be a while before I actually use it.
Leaving the hospital with my wee rucksack.
All in all, it was like Christmas opening out the contents of the rucksack and the box. Whether I ever use the rucksack is beside the point but it's much more likely than the briefcase affair they gave me with the Rondo.
You can clearly see that Rondo2 is slimmer. It's also much lighter.
This is the USB charger pad with both EU and UK plugs (US and somewhere else too but I won't need them I don't think).
Over the last wee while, I've made new HoH friends who finally took steps towards getting an implant and two are currently still in the recuperation and practice period. One is a lot younger than me and one is a good bit older. I love how age is not a consideration! A third is up for the operation next week, same age. It has been wonderful to see the progress made by people I actually know and can discuss things with and it's all positive so far although no. 3 is nervous about losing what music she can still hear. I look forward to hearing about her progress.
A Rondo(2) is not often chosen but only because of fears about it falling off, not because of sound quality, which is exactly the same. I personally find the fear of it falling off to be unfounded although I'll admit to having sent it flying myself a couple of times through the years. It's a sturdy piece of equipment though and oh, that's a point, I didn't get a protective silicon sleeve for the new one. Hmm, maybe not needed? Might enquire about that.
There are no cables to worry about though, or fiddly bits needing renewed like on the behind-the-ear models, and the Rondo2 is even sleeker so I'm just all for the thing. Music reception too has improved exponentially over the years and I really feel they should use me as a walking advert for the thing because I'm crazy about it. Either directly in my CI or just as surrounding sound, I hear music pretty darned good and don't take my CI off at rock concerts even. I do still lift it that millimetre off my head at intervals, just to check what I'd be missing if I didn't have it on.
I still love having the advantage over hearing people of being able to just take it off my head so's not to hear rackets. Seriously, you go from longing to hear everything, to shuuut uuuup! I don't generally leave it off for long though, other than in bed, as the tinnitus starts the factory/bagpipes-at-the-tattoo/cheering crowds cacophony if I leave it off too long. But folks, it's your loss, honestly :)
I still wear my hearing aid in the opposite ear, finding it completes things. I cannot even remotely function with hearing aid alone. I find it next to useless, although it does pick up just enough to get by. With nothing, no CI and no HA, I only hear a tiny little bit if you shout in my HA ear (CI ear nothing at all). CI processor alone, millions better than HA alone, I could manage well without the hearing aid. Then add the HA to the CI... totally normal as far as I can assess... like 98%. So somehow the HA rounds things off. I don't quite understand how that works but I'll take it!
By the time I get my next upgrade, I will be almost 70. A sobering thought to imagine how isolated I'd have been for years already, without my implant. Not to mention I'll be almost 70! argh! This fabulous thing has improved the hearing of thousands over the whole world in the last 40 years, improving all the time, and I'm one of the lucky recipients. I suspect things will get even sleeker, perhaps totally internal, before even my next upgrade. I know they're already working on that.
Time will tell. I'm so lucky and so grateful.
p.s. Please ignore the weird layout... Who the hell knows how to do things when the draft looks perfecctly fine!
Thursday, January 31, 2019
Exciting news!
I'm getting an upgrade!
It's five years since my implant and switch on so, here in NL you are automatically in line for a new CI processor. I say 'automatically' but couldn't stop thinking about it and thought it would be a shame if it was delayed so, I 'enquired; hehe. 'Well yes, you are due in a couple of weeks' (switch on was three weeks after implant so only dates from that day... of course). My being a tad previous got the ball rolling and my spanking new MedEl Rondo 2 is now ordered and once 'in house' I will get appointments for a fitting.
I'm wondering if it will make much difference sound wise so it's quite exciting. Convenience wise, I will no longer have to buy batteries as you just charge it up every night. Hoping that goes smoothly! Should save at least a hundred bucks a year. Not a lot, given that the thing costs many thousands, so not complaining about having had to spend that much, just saying. It's also slightly smaller and lighter. There is still no direct Bluetooth connection unless wearing an audio loop but that's no insurmountable problem.
Watch this space for how it all goes.
It's five years since my implant and switch on so, here in NL you are automatically in line for a new CI processor. I say 'automatically' but couldn't stop thinking about it and thought it would be a shame if it was delayed so, I 'enquired; hehe. 'Well yes, you are due in a couple of weeks' (switch on was three weeks after implant so only dates from that day... of course). My being a tad previous got the ball rolling and my spanking new MedEl Rondo 2 is now ordered and once 'in house' I will get appointments for a fitting.
I'm wondering if it will make much difference sound wise so it's quite exciting. Convenience wise, I will no longer have to buy batteries as you just charge it up every night. Hoping that goes smoothly! Should save at least a hundred bucks a year. Not a lot, given that the thing costs many thousands, so not complaining about having had to spend that much, just saying. It's also slightly smaller and lighter. There is still no direct Bluetooth connection unless wearing an audio loop but that's no insurmountable problem.
Watch this space for how it all goes.
Friday, January 25, 2019
Memory
...as in: LOSING it.
It does worry me. A tad. Not a lot, not enough to make me get checked over. Just enough to make me look stuff up and worry some more.
It's like a competition in this house, seeing who's done the daftest thing or forgotten what was being spoken about in the middle of a conversation, again (say that to sound like Forrest Gump), but I suppose we all do that. That's what I tell myself anyway. There are, however, wee worrying signs. Wee hints that make you wonder... 'could it be a sign?...'
And yet... you don't want to sound like a total loony and wasting your doctor's time eh? And we do all forget stuff! So this blog, if nothing else, will record the times I did wonder.
Then I hear myself saying 'if it gets BAD, I won't know, so...' and 'if I do have Altzheimer's... let's call a spade a spade... or anything resembling it... do I want to know?' Total wipe-out time getting such a diagnosis... no? I mean, how long do you wait before topping yourself? Just that bit too long so that you don't?! And then live out your life in total limbo, not knowing anyone, until you forget how to swallow, how to breathe. It's really scary shit!
I am confronted on almost a daily basis with 'silly' things, which are confrontational enough but, like just the other day...
Facebook posted an 'on this day' thingy, as it does every day, and this particular 'memory' was a killer.
Let me quote it here, it's from six years ago.
17 Jan. 2013
Me: has been made to feel a Philistine once again but... Tom Waites singing Waltzing Matilda... Stuff of legend or painful to the average person's ears, deaf or not? I just don't get it, despite regular exposure over the last 40 years. Discuss.
Emma: That song will always play a big part in my life. One, as in general Tom Waits just reminds me of dad (in a good way). And two - T used to sing Waltzing Mathilda to Fin when unsettled and it straight away settled him. Then on our first visit to Holland when Fin was only 5 weeks old, he became unsettled and dad said: "I'll play him one of my favourite tunes, that'll sort him out." And low and behold - it was Tom Waits', Waltzing Mathilda. Settled Finlay straight away and made AJ & I well up. A beautiful moment. 😉 X
Me: Did not know that Emma. ... I like him more now 😁
Emma: you did know this at the time it happened. You were there and also welled up when we told you the link. Your memory is getting worse.
Me: Sure is, no recollection.
Me six years later:
funnier yet Em... I have no recollection of this recollection!
So that was a really strange one... something I really should have remembered back then already, and then forgetting being told about it, again, or actually, forgetting it had ever been discussed or mentioned before? My head's mince, telling ye! I forgot something from way back, was reminded but had no recollection six years ago, then just this week, forgot I'd been reminded and had no recollection of even the very discussion about it! And to top it all, more comments were made this week, but I had already forgotten what was being discussed and had to scroll up to read it again. Ok, so I'm remembering NOW but still... god but your brain, your memory... it's weird eh?
Then there's the total inability to tell you when we went to a particular place on holiday. I used to be able to remind myself with 'oh the kids were only xx years old then so it must have been 19xx'... but certainly since the millennium and no kids to go on... NO idea. Sometimes I'm even in doubt if we've been a place, which is why I like my FB photo albums. They really help. When I see a photo, I really do remember stuff, it's not a blank canvas entirely! Lots of times I'll actually know I was at such a place and we ate there and remember what a lovely meal we had there and we share the memories and it's all awww, but, when it was?... not a clue!
Folks dying too... Getting really bad at remembering when even folks important to me actually died. That bugs me. I should be able to say the date, the year at least! But nope, I need to look it up every bloody time. A couple of dates went by recently before I realised. This is not ok.
I wrote in here about getting my CI. Is why I started blogging at all. If it wasn't for Facebook, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't know the date of my operation and I'd honestly intended for that to be a big thing. Because it is! I told someone recently it happened in February and I know it was coming up to five years and switch on was after six weeks. Turns out, it was in January... five years was right, but I was switched on after only three weeks. And the recently operated person I'd told was amazed at herself being switched on at three weeks already and I amazed with her! I even said 'protocols change'. Until FB reminded me and I reread my own blog. It's confusticating! Why... HOW can I forget stuff like that? It makes it look like I don't care, am not bothered!
A few years ago already, (this has been going on a while) I sat at my desk with a pot of tea. Then went to put the kettle on and was searching for the teapot. Couldn't understand why it was on my desk and didn't believe it when I realised it had hot tea in it. Totally no recollection of making it! That was actually a scary one. Let's not count the times I've poured myself a cup of hot water, having totally forgotten the t-bag. I can laugh at it all, but it's starting to add up.
So I did a bunch of tests from the Internet last week. Pretty sure I managed them ok, but you only get a proper 'result' if you take it to the doctor. SAGE tests. I did all four available and did all four in less than half the allotted time. I refuse to believe they're a mess haha. And I can still draw a clock and put the pointy... thingies... what do you call them again? at the correct time. Hands, clock hands! See that's another bit of it, forgetting the words for familiar items. I put that down to confusion between Dutch and English but... dunno. Sometimes I can't think of the Dutch word either haha. Not always handy, me being a translator and all!
Daily, I can be scrolling down my FB page and I say to myself oh, must look that up... and scroll further, two, three seconds... and have NO idea what I was interested enough in, to want to look up. I can scroll back up but only sometimes do I find what it was, am reminded by something. I find that bloody annoying and mildly disconcerting. It's 99% unlikely to have been anything important but really, it could just as well be! It's, if I don't do 'whatever' right there and then, I'll forget. But then, if I do 'whatever' right there and then, I often enough forget what I was doing previously and pick up something else that interests me... or perhaps actually needs doing... and only remember I was in the middle of something when something else jogs my memory. It's frustrating to be me sometimes.
See for instance, for this very blog, I was looking up FB to try and find the memory with Emma I'd forgotten about. But got sidetracked and, two hours later, only just remembered that FB is open where I was trying to find it! I do despair! But hey, I found it, much further back than I thought (I'd have said three days tops, but it was a whole week!)
Then there's the boots I found in the cupboard a couple of years back... never seen them before! Obviously worn before and bought by me, myself and I, but had no recollection. Like getting new boots, so was great! haha. But I've since seen photos of myself in previous years, wearing them. So a wee light did eventually dawn but... it was really on a peep and I don't really remember buying them. Yet I have shoes in the same cupboard I've had for donkeys and do remember, well...not buying them exactly, but knew they were mine, Well of course I do! So this pair was weird. And cosy, if unfamiliar.
Missing items. The saga of the missing cheese slice. That was a corker really. Had the thing for years, suddenly, on returning from a trip, no longer in the kitchen drawer. My fault of course! 'You had it!' Now I knew I had taken it (long story, not important) but I also knew I'd brought it back, and this had been weeks previous. I knew I knew I knew I'd collected it! So weeks pass and I see a cheese slice being used... but it's not the cheese slice, it's a different one. Who bought that then? Not me! Not him! So where did that come from? Will forever remain a mystery. Another week further on and I wear a jacket not worn in months. What's in the pocket? The missing cheese slice! haha. Plus another one. We had two? So I had indeed brought it home, two even. But where on earth did the other one come from, the new one? Well, obviously I'd bought it at some point but... totally no recollection. Or maybe he did, who knows?
Then the scraper for the glass hob top. Hadn't had a blade for it in years so was tossed, with the idea of finally buying a new one. Could never find one! So, more years and we did without but I was always looking, not actively (my life isn't quite so boring) but you know, when you're out and about. I'm messing about in the shed this day and find... a new scraper, still in the packet. Who bought it? Probably me but it could have been anybody and neither of us knows when or how long it had been lying there. I'd only the week previously... I remember this part... bemoaned never being able to find this totally simple tool 'surely someplace has them!' And now here was one, must have been found, somewhere. This one had better last a long time as if it needs replacing, I still have no idea where to buy one! To add insult to injury, we've done without for so long, we find it not as useful as we'd hoped anyway.
...........................
It's a new day and before continuing to write this I checked my mail. Switching from mail to browser and I forgot why before the browser was open. It was to do something, prompted by... something... I just read in a mail! But I have no idea what, so... it's this that annoys, worries me, the most. I do this regularly and it really hinders me. My best bet is to just leave it alone, literally forget about it (how ironic is that) and sometimes, just sometimes, it comes back to me. But I'm talking seconds here. So even saying 'right I'll do it now before I forget' leaves me lost. Hmmm.
None of the above would speak for me being a very good witness I'm thinking. 'Yes your honour, it was definitely him. I remember seeing... [fill in the gaps].' Any good defence lawyer would rip me to bits! Totally unreliable testimony! Which would be so unfair if I really did remember something eh? :)
Even old memories, I sometimes wonder if I muddle them. They are my memories though so I suppose it doesn't really matter. Until it does. Like, if it causes a dispute about something important. You never know. So that's another wee worry. Me? Worry? Nonono.
I know that as my own mum got older we'd be saying 'aye, she's getting a bit... you know...' and I really don't want that for myself but worry I'm heading that way. Just don't let me catch you saying it!
Maybe I should start hanging address labels on everything, just in case, like evacuees during the war.
If you see me wandering about in dressing gown and slippers, please return to...
It does worry me. A tad. Not a lot, not enough to make me get checked over. Just enough to make me look stuff up and worry some more.
It's like a competition in this house, seeing who's done the daftest thing or forgotten what was being spoken about in the middle of a conversation, again (say that to sound like Forrest Gump), but I suppose we all do that. That's what I tell myself anyway. There are, however, wee worrying signs. Wee hints that make you wonder... 'could it be a sign?...'
And yet... you don't want to sound like a total loony and wasting your doctor's time eh? And we do all forget stuff! So this blog, if nothing else, will record the times I did wonder.
Then I hear myself saying 'if it gets BAD, I won't know, so...' and 'if I do have Altzheimer's... let's call a spade a spade... or anything resembling it... do I want to know?' Total wipe-out time getting such a diagnosis... no? I mean, how long do you wait before topping yourself? Just that bit too long so that you don't?! And then live out your life in total limbo, not knowing anyone, until you forget how to swallow, how to breathe. It's really scary shit!
I am confronted on almost a daily basis with 'silly' things, which are confrontational enough but, like just the other day...
Facebook posted an 'on this day' thingy, as it does every day, and this particular 'memory' was a killer.
Let me quote it here, it's from six years ago.
17 Jan. 2013
Me: has been made to feel a Philistine once again but... Tom Waites singing Waltzing Matilda... Stuff of legend or painful to the average person's ears, deaf or not? I just don't get it, despite regular exposure over the last 40 years. Discuss.
Emma: That song will always play a big part in my life. One, as in general Tom Waits just reminds me of dad (in a good way). And two - T used to sing Waltzing Mathilda to Fin when unsettled and it straight away settled him. Then on our first visit to Holland when Fin was only 5 weeks old, he became unsettled and dad said: "I'll play him one of my favourite tunes, that'll sort him out." And low and behold - it was Tom Waits', Waltzing Mathilda. Settled Finlay straight away and made AJ & I well up. A beautiful moment. 😉 X
Me: Did not know that Emma. ... I like him more now 😁
Emma: you did know this at the time it happened. You were there and also welled up when we told you the link. Your memory is getting worse.
Me: Sure is, no recollection.
Me six years later:
funnier yet Em... I have no recollection of this recollection!
So that was a really strange one... something I really should have remembered back then already, and then forgetting being told about it, again, or actually, forgetting it had ever been discussed or mentioned before? My head's mince, telling ye! I forgot something from way back, was reminded but had no recollection six years ago, then just this week, forgot I'd been reminded and had no recollection of even the very discussion about it! And to top it all, more comments were made this week, but I had already forgotten what was being discussed and had to scroll up to read it again. Ok, so I'm remembering NOW but still... god but your brain, your memory... it's weird eh?
Then there's the total inability to tell you when we went to a particular place on holiday. I used to be able to remind myself with 'oh the kids were only xx years old then so it must have been 19xx'... but certainly since the millennium and no kids to go on... NO idea. Sometimes I'm even in doubt if we've been a place, which is why I like my FB photo albums. They really help. When I see a photo, I really do remember stuff, it's not a blank canvas entirely! Lots of times I'll actually know I was at such a place and we ate there and remember what a lovely meal we had there and we share the memories and it's all awww, but, when it was?... not a clue!
Folks dying too... Getting really bad at remembering when even folks important to me actually died. That bugs me. I should be able to say the date, the year at least! But nope, I need to look it up every bloody time. A couple of dates went by recently before I realised. This is not ok.
I wrote in here about getting my CI. Is why I started blogging at all. If it wasn't for Facebook, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't know the date of my operation and I'd honestly intended for that to be a big thing. Because it is! I told someone recently it happened in February and I know it was coming up to five years and switch on was after six weeks. Turns out, it was in January... five years was right, but I was switched on after only three weeks. And the recently operated person I'd told was amazed at herself being switched on at three weeks already and I amazed with her! I even said 'protocols change'. Until FB reminded me and I reread my own blog. It's confusticating! Why... HOW can I forget stuff like that? It makes it look like I don't care, am not bothered!
A few years ago already, (this has been going on a while) I sat at my desk with a pot of tea. Then went to put the kettle on and was searching for the teapot. Couldn't understand why it was on my desk and didn't believe it when I realised it had hot tea in it. Totally no recollection of making it! That was actually a scary one. Let's not count the times I've poured myself a cup of hot water, having totally forgotten the t-bag. I can laugh at it all, but it's starting to add up.
So I did a bunch of tests from the Internet last week. Pretty sure I managed them ok, but you only get a proper 'result' if you take it to the doctor. SAGE tests. I did all four available and did all four in less than half the allotted time. I refuse to believe they're a mess haha. And I can still draw a clock and put the pointy... thingies... what do you call them again? at the correct time. Hands, clock hands! See that's another bit of it, forgetting the words for familiar items. I put that down to confusion between Dutch and English but... dunno. Sometimes I can't think of the Dutch word either haha. Not always handy, me being a translator and all!
Daily, I can be scrolling down my FB page and I say to myself oh, must look that up... and scroll further, two, three seconds... and have NO idea what I was interested enough in, to want to look up. I can scroll back up but only sometimes do I find what it was, am reminded by something. I find that bloody annoying and mildly disconcerting. It's 99% unlikely to have been anything important but really, it could just as well be! It's, if I don't do 'whatever' right there and then, I'll forget. But then, if I do 'whatever' right there and then, I often enough forget what I was doing previously and pick up something else that interests me... or perhaps actually needs doing... and only remember I was in the middle of something when something else jogs my memory. It's frustrating to be me sometimes.
See for instance, for this very blog, I was looking up FB to try and find the memory with Emma I'd forgotten about. But got sidetracked and, two hours later, only just remembered that FB is open where I was trying to find it! I do despair! But hey, I found it, much further back than I thought (I'd have said three days tops, but it was a whole week!)
Then there's the boots I found in the cupboard a couple of years back... never seen them before! Obviously worn before and bought by me, myself and I, but had no recollection. Like getting new boots, so was great! haha. But I've since seen photos of myself in previous years, wearing them. So a wee light did eventually dawn but... it was really on a peep and I don't really remember buying them. Yet I have shoes in the same cupboard I've had for donkeys and do remember, well...not buying them exactly, but knew they were mine, Well of course I do! So this pair was weird. And cosy, if unfamiliar.
Missing items. The saga of the missing cheese slice. That was a corker really. Had the thing for years, suddenly, on returning from a trip, no longer in the kitchen drawer. My fault of course! 'You had it!' Now I knew I had taken it (long story, not important) but I also knew I'd brought it back, and this had been weeks previous. I knew I knew I knew I'd collected it! So weeks pass and I see a cheese slice being used... but it's not the cheese slice, it's a different one. Who bought that then? Not me! Not him! So where did that come from? Will forever remain a mystery. Another week further on and I wear a jacket not worn in months. What's in the pocket? The missing cheese slice! haha. Plus another one. We had two? So I had indeed brought it home, two even. But where on earth did the other one come from, the new one? Well, obviously I'd bought it at some point but... totally no recollection. Or maybe he did, who knows?
Then the scraper for the glass hob top. Hadn't had a blade for it in years so was tossed, with the idea of finally buying a new one. Could never find one! So, more years and we did without but I was always looking, not actively (my life isn't quite so boring) but you know, when you're out and about. I'm messing about in the shed this day and find... a new scraper, still in the packet. Who bought it? Probably me but it could have been anybody and neither of us knows when or how long it had been lying there. I'd only the week previously... I remember this part... bemoaned never being able to find this totally simple tool 'surely someplace has them!' And now here was one, must have been found, somewhere. This one had better last a long time as if it needs replacing, I still have no idea where to buy one! To add insult to injury, we've done without for so long, we find it not as useful as we'd hoped anyway.
...........................
It's a new day and before continuing to write this I checked my mail. Switching from mail to browser and I forgot why before the browser was open. It was to do something, prompted by... something... I just read in a mail! But I have no idea what, so... it's this that annoys, worries me, the most. I do this regularly and it really hinders me. My best bet is to just leave it alone, literally forget about it (how ironic is that) and sometimes, just sometimes, it comes back to me. But I'm talking seconds here. So even saying 'right I'll do it now before I forget' leaves me lost. Hmmm.
None of the above would speak for me being a very good witness I'm thinking. 'Yes your honour, it was definitely him. I remember seeing... [fill in the gaps].' Any good defence lawyer would rip me to bits! Totally unreliable testimony! Which would be so unfair if I really did remember something eh? :)
Even old memories, I sometimes wonder if I muddle them. They are my memories though so I suppose it doesn't really matter. Until it does. Like, if it causes a dispute about something important. You never know. So that's another wee worry. Me? Worry? Nonono.
I know that as my own mum got older we'd be saying 'aye, she's getting a bit... you know...' and I really don't want that for myself but worry I'm heading that way. Just don't let me catch you saying it!
Maybe I should start hanging address labels on everything, just in case, like evacuees during the war.
If you see me wandering about in dressing gown and slippers, please return to...
Saturday, April 14, 2018
Why I'm not rich
I have, like many of us, lately been contemplating deleting Facebook but have concluded that it would be a waste of effort. I don't really want to lose the contacts I have, nor all the photo albums and let's face it, FB is great for all that. Nor do I really, truly think any data of mine is of interest to anyone. I'm probably wrong, but seriously, don't need corrected. I find I don't actually care and suggested alternatives don't really interest me. So I will hang on, for now, and reserve the right to change my mind in the future when I follow the rest of the world like the sheep I probably am.
What does interest me, and has actually been buzzing around my head since realising I was bloody well dreaming about it... is our young Mr. Z's 'net worth'. By all accounts, give or take a million, this is USD 64 Billion. With a capital B.
That's insane. It's obscene!
There are approximately 7.5 billion people on the planet, yet one man can have so much money? I know it's not all cash in a pile somewhere. I'm also sure, even if he has 50 accountants wangling all sorts of tax dodges, (apparently 'de rigueur' the more money you have) a lot of tax will have been raised to have left him with that. But 64 Billion?
In some ways, the man can't be blamed if a product of his generates so much income. What can you do eh? And Google tells me there are around 1,500 other billionaires across the world. But he is number one. Nobody ever talks about the guy that won silver or bronze so, it makes sense that he's the one in the spotlight right now (apart from all the other little snafus he is involved in). My comments here are therefore directed at him but do actually take in those other rich bassas.
My main bone of contention is... why does he not DO something with all that money? It's not like he can spend it all. It's not like his childrens' childrens' children will ever be able to either. I was never good at maths but even I can do the arithmetic for this. He could easily make 63 million people, millionaires, and he'd still have 1 billion left! Tell me he couldn't work with that! He could make 20 million folks multimillionaires and still have too much. I don't know about you but even half a million would set me up nicely, and I wouldn't sniff at 100K either if I'm honest, not that I even 'do' the lottery. But why would you keep all that capital and not share it around?
Of course this starts other conversations like 'What is the limit you can keep before sharing?' and 'Who decides'. I'd say entirely the millionaire/billionaire's own prerogative, but what are the chances of them actually doing anything to 'spread the lurve' off their own back? I could envision a lot of 'why should I do it if he's not?' I also have no idea (I could probably find out if I researched it) if Z perhaps contributes to many charities, or funds loads of great initiatives, but that's not what I'm saying here. I'm saying, where the hell does it stop? The more money you have, the more you get (interest upon interest, fawning lackeys letting you live free on expensive premises and your mere presence getting you free fine dining (I've seen Brewster's Millions!). I think someone among them needs to take a stand.
And another thing: what happens to all those tax dollars (pounds, etc.) and why is it not obvious? Governments must surely be able to pinpoint exactly what has been collected and where it has now gone? Bottom line: why is there any poverty anywhere in the world? Why potholes? Two extremes yes but just as an illustration.
This club of Richie Riches needs to take a long, hard inward look and finally recognise that this obscenity (it really is nothing less) must be halted. I have no real suggestions as to how how it can be achieved but even an acknowledgement of the craziness of it all would be a start. We could take it from there: discuss (more) projects; arrange proper largesse; sort out real bequests. Even I can see the difficulties: the hangers on; the begging letters; the downright crooks lining up to get involved. But with full disclosure and complete openness, surely... for goodness sake even 'only' HALF would be more than 30 Billion getting put to good use and not just into real estate and offshore accounts!
Not applying for the job. Just mouthing off as usual.
What does interest me, and has actually been buzzing around my head since realising I was bloody well dreaming about it... is our young Mr. Z's 'net worth'. By all accounts, give or take a million, this is USD 64 Billion. With a capital B.
That's insane. It's obscene!
There are approximately 7.5 billion people on the planet, yet one man can have so much money? I know it's not all cash in a pile somewhere. I'm also sure, even if he has 50 accountants wangling all sorts of tax dodges, (apparently 'de rigueur' the more money you have) a lot of tax will have been raised to have left him with that. But 64 Billion?
In some ways, the man can't be blamed if a product of his generates so much income. What can you do eh? And Google tells me there are around 1,500 other billionaires across the world. But he is number one. Nobody ever talks about the guy that won silver or bronze so, it makes sense that he's the one in the spotlight right now (apart from all the other little snafus he is involved in). My comments here are therefore directed at him but do actually take in those other rich bassas.
My main bone of contention is... why does he not DO something with all that money? It's not like he can spend it all. It's not like his childrens' childrens' children will ever be able to either. I was never good at maths but even I can do the arithmetic for this. He could easily make 63 million people, millionaires, and he'd still have 1 billion left! Tell me he couldn't work with that! He could make 20 million folks multimillionaires and still have too much. I don't know about you but even half a million would set me up nicely, and I wouldn't sniff at 100K either if I'm honest, not that I even 'do' the lottery. But why would you keep all that capital and not share it around?
Of course this starts other conversations like 'What is the limit you can keep before sharing?' and 'Who decides'. I'd say entirely the millionaire/billionaire's own prerogative, but what are the chances of them actually doing anything to 'spread the lurve' off their own back? I could envision a lot of 'why should I do it if he's not?' I also have no idea (I could probably find out if I researched it) if Z perhaps contributes to many charities, or funds loads of great initiatives, but that's not what I'm saying here. I'm saying, where the hell does it stop? The more money you have, the more you get (interest upon interest, fawning lackeys letting you live free on expensive premises and your mere presence getting you free fine dining (I've seen Brewster's Millions!). I think someone among them needs to take a stand.
And another thing: what happens to all those tax dollars (pounds, etc.) and why is it not obvious? Governments must surely be able to pinpoint exactly what has been collected and where it has now gone? Bottom line: why is there any poverty anywhere in the world? Why potholes? Two extremes yes but just as an illustration.
This club of Richie Riches needs to take a long, hard inward look and finally recognise that this obscenity (it really is nothing less) must be halted. I have no real suggestions as to how how it can be achieved but even an acknowledgement of the craziness of it all would be a start. We could take it from there: discuss (more) projects; arrange proper largesse; sort out real bequests. Even I can see the difficulties: the hangers on; the begging letters; the downright crooks lining up to get involved. But with full disclosure and complete openness, surely... for goodness sake even 'only' HALF would be more than 30 Billion getting put to good use and not just into real estate and offshore accounts!
Not applying for the job. Just mouthing off as usual.
Saturday, January 06, 2018
The button
I tend to write blethers off the cuff and I use it to empty my head of stuff that needn't be there so, here's another one. I do need the space!
Two years I've had this cardi! Approximately. I wear it regularly and, despite having bought it from Primark, I like it fine. I tell myself that all the shops are as bad as each other and it is really hard to pass up on an inexpensive-yet-half-decent item. I'm sure everyone has the same wrestle with their conscious... it's not just me. And I know the shops know it and keep on keeping on, but in my defense... I have no defense.
Anyway, 2 years I've had it. It's a weird, wrap affair and I've always found it a bit silly the way just the one side buttons over. Just one button on the shoulder to fasten the corner of the opposite panel. I always tuck the inside flap/panel under my arm when putting a jacket over it. Mostly both sides just kinna hang nonchalantly... see me? see cool?
Then just the other day, I don't know why... it's hardly of import so it doesn't really require a 'why'... I noticed the other button! There's a bloody OTHER BUTTON! For the flap I've been tucking under my arm all this time. Works a treat haha!
I've been telling myself it's because it's on the inside, and small and hey, it's practically invisible eh? but really, why have I not seen it until now?
This type of bollix scares the hell out of me not an inconsequential amount! I have to stop thinking of all the other things I inadvertently miss and it makes me a tad nervous that my skirt is tucked into my knickers more often than not! (I'm ok really, I'm usually in trousers).
Now, being absent-minded is almost a 'thing' in this house and we often enough seem to be outdoing each other in the 'what have you done NOW' stakes, but this one is a weird one. The button has not miraculously been sewn on when I wasn't paying attention (although... don't quote me!) and I've missed it's very existence for 2 years. TWO YEARS! Despite actually regularly being manifestly irritated that the other panel didn't button up I evidently chose not to even check for the other button which sensibly should have been there... and actually has been all this time.
And you know what's even worse? There's a button-hole for it!!
Two years I've had this cardi! Approximately. I wear it regularly and, despite having bought it from Primark, I like it fine. I tell myself that all the shops are as bad as each other and it is really hard to pass up on an inexpensive-yet-half-decent item. I'm sure everyone has the same wrestle with their conscious... it's not just me. And I know the shops know it and keep on keeping on, but in my defense... I have no defense.
Anyway, 2 years I've had it. It's a weird, wrap affair and I've always found it a bit silly the way just the one side buttons over. Just one button on the shoulder to fasten the corner of the opposite panel. I always tuck the inside flap/panel under my arm when putting a jacket over it. Mostly both sides just kinna hang nonchalantly... see me? see cool?
Then just the other day, I don't know why... it's hardly of import so it doesn't really require a 'why'... I noticed the other button! There's a bloody OTHER BUTTON! For the flap I've been tucking under my arm all this time. Works a treat haha!
I've been telling myself it's because it's on the inside, and small and hey, it's practically invisible eh? but really, why have I not seen it until now?
This type of bollix scares the hell out of me not an inconsequential amount! I have to stop thinking of all the other things I inadvertently miss and it makes me a tad nervous that my skirt is tucked into my knickers more often than not! (I'm ok really, I'm usually in trousers).
Now, being absent-minded is almost a 'thing' in this house and we often enough seem to be outdoing each other in the 'what have you done NOW' stakes, but this one is a weird one. The button has not miraculously been sewn on when I wasn't paying attention (although... don't quote me!) and I've missed it's very existence for 2 years. TWO YEARS! Despite actually regularly being manifestly irritated that the other panel didn't button up I evidently chose not to even check for the other button which sensibly should have been there... and actually has been all this time.
And you know what's even worse? There's a button-hole for it!!
Wednesday, November 08, 2017
Catching up with blethers
I notice it was last November, NO, 2 years ago! when I posted anything here... time flies eh? I knew I'd never keep up any kind of momentum when I don't actually have a particular subject (like my fabulous super duper CI) to expound upon. My 'blethers' have condescended into just that... just flapping my fingers on the keyboard to put into writing some of the bollix my head comes up with. Nothing wrong with that really, not hurting anyone.
Today though, I do want to get this lot out there. It's not in the least interesting, but it's in my head so, having the outlet, I'm using it. It's this.
What ARE those things in the bath?
I was lying stewing in my own dirt (as someone most unhelpfully called it once) and my eye caught them. Those things, hanging on the tap. They've been there for years already, some more years than others and frankly, I still don't know how or why (although it was me that hung them there). They are generally added to annually and 'older' ones have been disposed of intermittently, but yet they proliferate. I currently have six of them (2 in the shower) where one would still have me asking 'what the hell are you?' In all honesty, I've used one quite conveniently as a shower scourer (because I hate the colour of it) and I did once skoosh up some shower gel in the other... quite satisfactorily if I'm honest and yes I keep them apart... but it's plastic netting! It's plastic. Netting.
I honestly don't know what they're called. They're plastic, netting, and artfully intended to resemble... a flower? Who knows?! They come in all shades, some even two-toned (although that could actually just be one leeching into the other) and are variously hung on ribbon or cord. I just know you have them too. Be honest now.
Have you ever tried deconstructing one? You untie the centre 'pompom' knot and lo, you have... a length of plastic netting? What? Why? Where does this stuff come from? I refuse to believe there's a shop full of them, (please!) they only (usually) come in those 'luxury' selection boxes of bath goodies... the oil of ilang ilang and the cream foam bath of frangipani... and I just don't believe anyone ever shops for one... 'Oh, I think I need a new plastic netting pompom, I will dash off now to the plastic netting pompom shop and stock up on a few!' This does not happen. We only 'acquire' them and yet there are millions! (I'm rather extrapolating, six to 'millions' but I do believe I'm not wrong here).. This means there is a factory somewhere. It's not just the off-cuts of some bigger production line (it's not, is it?) so somewhere, this plastic netting is being made specifically to make up these things. Why? Well I know why, because some smart Alec saw the potential. But I contend, nobody buys these things. Nobody. We get them given to us. In among other items we may or may not have requested but yet are happy enough to receive. I'm trying to think of something else that has inveigled it's way into our lives in the same way and can only think of a parasite, like worms or something.
So I'm just wondering, as I know these boxes are thought about, designed even... who thought (and it's been a few years now but really, in the grand scheme of things, fairly recently.. ) who was it that thought, 'oh let's fill that hole there with plastic netting screwed up into a 'cute' pompom. Nice! That totally finishes our deluxe offering!' This obviously did happen. This obviously does continue to happen. I can only ponder, why!
But see now I'm wondering, who makes these things!? Who? Where? oh please tell me it's not some 8 year old in a cellar somewhere. If you look closely, the netting does rather resemble the little bags you get chocolate coins in? Also only around this time of year, yes Christmas. So they were messing with those little bags and somebody thought, hey, if we do THIS and then THIS... yeah, that's us sorted for those empty spaces in the bath packs! Hooray! And oh we can make them all different colours (usually red on the chocolate coin bags... or gold?) and we can convince the world they need them hehehe' (evil laugh).
How does that work? If you were to go right back to the very first one, how, people, in all that's holy, how did it come to this! You need a new toilet bag? Here's one and oh, there's a wee added extra! My make-up bag is so tatty, need a new one and oh a brush too? AND a whatjamacallit! Fab! Going to the gym? You need this pack of slippers, towel and... you get it. You GET it.
So it was a long bath, I like to soak a while. Then I shower (been really put off with the 'stewing in your own dirt' line, so I shower after my bath) but I'm damned if I will use that thing there. I'll hang it up, collect the buggers (I just know there's a couple more in the drawers in the room somewhere) but I'm not playing the game and will not utilise any of them! I'm nothing if not a rebel.
Today though, I do want to get this lot out there. It's not in the least interesting, but it's in my head so, having the outlet, I'm using it. It's this.
What ARE those things in the bath?
I was lying stewing in my own dirt (as someone most unhelpfully called it once) and my eye caught them. Those things, hanging on the tap. They've been there for years already, some more years than others and frankly, I still don't know how or why (although it was me that hung them there). They are generally added to annually and 'older' ones have been disposed of intermittently, but yet they proliferate. I currently have six of them (2 in the shower) where one would still have me asking 'what the hell are you?' In all honesty, I've used one quite conveniently as a shower scourer (because I hate the colour of it) and I did once skoosh up some shower gel in the other... quite satisfactorily if I'm honest and yes I keep them apart... but it's plastic netting! It's plastic. Netting.
I honestly don't know what they're called. They're plastic, netting, and artfully intended to resemble... a flower? Who knows?! They come in all shades, some even two-toned (although that could actually just be one leeching into the other) and are variously hung on ribbon or cord. I just know you have them too. Be honest now.
Have you ever tried deconstructing one? You untie the centre 'pompom' knot and lo, you have... a length of plastic netting? What? Why? Where does this stuff come from? I refuse to believe there's a shop full of them, (please!) they only (usually) come in those 'luxury' selection boxes of bath goodies... the oil of ilang ilang and the cream foam bath of frangipani... and I just don't believe anyone ever shops for one... 'Oh, I think I need a new plastic netting pompom, I will dash off now to the plastic netting pompom shop and stock up on a few!' This does not happen. We only 'acquire' them and yet there are millions! (I'm rather extrapolating, six to 'millions' but I do believe I'm not wrong here).. This means there is a factory somewhere. It's not just the off-cuts of some bigger production line (it's not, is it?) so somewhere, this plastic netting is being made specifically to make up these things. Why? Well I know why, because some smart Alec saw the potential. But I contend, nobody buys these things. Nobody. We get them given to us. In among other items we may or may not have requested but yet are happy enough to receive. I'm trying to think of something else that has inveigled it's way into our lives in the same way and can only think of a parasite, like worms or something.
So I'm just wondering, as I know these boxes are thought about, designed even... who thought (and it's been a few years now but really, in the grand scheme of things, fairly recently.. ) who was it that thought, 'oh let's fill that hole there with plastic netting screwed up into a 'cute' pompom. Nice! That totally finishes our deluxe offering!' This obviously did happen. This obviously does continue to happen. I can only ponder, why!
But see now I'm wondering, who makes these things!? Who? Where? oh please tell me it's not some 8 year old in a cellar somewhere. If you look closely, the netting does rather resemble the little bags you get chocolate coins in? Also only around this time of year, yes Christmas. So they were messing with those little bags and somebody thought, hey, if we do THIS and then THIS... yeah, that's us sorted for those empty spaces in the bath packs! Hooray! And oh we can make them all different colours (usually red on the chocolate coin bags... or gold?) and we can convince the world they need them hehehe' (evil laugh).
How does that work? If you were to go right back to the very first one, how, people, in all that's holy, how did it come to this! You need a new toilet bag? Here's one and oh, there's a wee added extra! My make-up bag is so tatty, need a new one and oh a brush too? AND a whatjamacallit! Fab! Going to the gym? You need this pack of slippers, towel and... you get it. You GET it.
So it was a long bath, I like to soak a while. Then I shower (been really put off with the 'stewing in your own dirt' line, so I shower after my bath) but I'm damned if I will use that thing there. I'll hang it up, collect the buggers (I just know there's a couple more in the drawers in the room somewhere) but I'm not playing the game and will not utilise any of them! I'm nothing if not a rebel.
Monday, November 23, 2015
Sint and Santa
I have to get this off my chest. There may be swearies.
Living here in Holland... it's so conflicting at this time of year. I like it, yet I hate it. I want to take part, but no, I fecking hate it. I like it for the kids, but it ruins my bloody Christmas!
I've felt this way for almost 40 years now... it's probably not healthy.
For those who don't know (so that's like everyone on the planet outside of Holland, barring escapees) the Sint... (Sinterklaas, S. Nicolaas) 'arrives' in the Netherlands, on his ridiculously small 'stoomboot' (steam tug affair) from SPAIN... none of yer Santa's North Pole nonsense.. oh no. Now there's a whole history around it and I know it all but I'm not going to bore anyone here with that... look it up if you're interested and want to warp your brain for half an hour some time. But right, he comes into town, on his wee boat (and his white horse, Amerigo) and as many Black Peter's he can muster (or the council can pay for/arrange somehow... they queue up to be one, honest). There's a whole 'nother controversy about whether Zwarte Piet is black from chimneys (well there's bollix for you) or black because he was 'originally' a black African servant. This controversy gets bigger every year causing a lot of brouhaha I will also not expand upon here other than to say it's very devisive and just adds that extra bit of bleargh to it all for one who dislikes the whole thing anyway (a.k.a... me).
Sinterklaas is not your jolly Santa, but a very serious (if kind) Bishop... of all things... with a big book filled with the names of all the children and details on what they've been up to. This is surreptitiously and serendipitously supplied by quick thinking parents needing their kid reminded to brush their teeth when told, the night before the party, so he can call them up and frighten the life out of them before handing over their present... that sort of thing. The Black Peters frolic around him, being silly and throwing sweets around. Great fun really but so far terrifying to my own grandsons despite the regular singing of Sinterklaas songs for the weeks from his arrival up to his birthday on 6 December.... So like THREE WEEKS from mid-November.
There are no stockings hung here, we leave a shoe... near the window, or a door, if you don't have a fireplace, with a carrot or hay for the Sint's horse, and the usual milk and a biscuit... there are some things similar. Now this can happen in various ways. You (as a child) can put your shoe out every night (Supermarkets let you do it too!) until 5 December (party time... he leaves on the 6th in super stealth style) and only get your present(s) on the 5th... or perhaps once a week, smaller pressies... or every night or every other night a tiny thing (a bit of chocolate perhaps)... it all depends on your behaviour, or what your folks manage to con you into. You tell them that Sinterklaas can't come to all the kids, all the time, then surprise them one morning with a little present because they've been so good... that kinda thing.
Now this is all lovely, and cute and fun... all of that. But I'm a Santa girl. I grew up and started my own kids on Santa, elves and sleighs and reindeer and all things Christmas. This feckin' start of December shite drives me potty!
When we came here to NL it was end September and there was no-one who warned me about this at all. We were in the attic, up a ladder! in these *digs* with two babies and of course we didn't speak Dutch. The 'landlady' had 6 daughters all with families/boyfriends etc (only one small child) but oh let's have a 'Sinterklaas Feest', with 'surprises' (oh god, that's another thing, 'surprises' - same word, different pronunciation, kinda the same meaning but... arghghg). This was just a normal, 3 bedroomed terraced house - the logistics were horrendous for a party with all those folks but ach, in for a penny... . So we spent all we had on presents for everyone, as you do at Christmas, not knowing that generally, grown-ups pull the name of someone in the group attending, out of a hat - so each give one present, in the form of a 'surprise'. Now a surprise is just that really... a present (one you may have asked specifically for, which is another Dutch thing and I don't mean like Santa's letter, I mean like 'what would you like?'... 'xxx please'... 'ok') packed in a surprising way. So a carefully wrapped watch... at the bottom of a cup of custard perhaps? Or a necklace made of tinfoil (but your actual necklace is all wrapped up in there). Or maybe a home made cake, with a box containing a new pen, baked into it. Some folks, when having a proper Sinterklaas party (more for the adults than the kids really) take weeks designing and building say, a doll's house, that comes with all the bits and pieces, and it will contain, after much searching, a concert ticket or... whatever, you get the drift. Each gift is also (traditionally) handed over with a (also traditionally it seems, badly written) poem (although I've honestly yet to hear one that a) has any metre at all, or b) rhymes, unless by mistake at the end of a very long sentence), usually signed 'from the Sint' and mentioning things the receiver has been up to over the past year. Hilarious. If you like that sort of thing. There's always one day at school when the kids exchange 'surprises' too, with prizes for the best one, all of that. We still laugh (mirthlessly) at the 'pencil with a plastic helicopter on the end' that our elder girl got one year... oh they go all out!
Presents are handed out one by one, surprise discovered, poem read... all very convivial. It's just not Christmas. Which of course it isn't. But then, when it's all over... 'hurray, at last the shops can do Christmas stuff'!! Except, when we first came, this was not the case. You couldn't get a chocolate Santa for love nor money. There. was. no. Santa. Full stop. The Sint was yer man and he was off back to Spain (seriously, look it up). Christmas was nativity scenes, BAD carol singing (sooo bad! too slow!! and no Santa/Christmas songs, just carols) going to church (mibbes) and barely even saying Merry Christmas in whatever language! The (horrendously bad) TV *closed down* with the National Anthem at 10 pm... maybe 11 pm?... so no Christmas telly to speak of.
There was NO up early, still dark, ripping open pressies... 'Santa's been!' No kids all over the streets on their new bikes... no turkey in the oven ('Rabbit? RABBIT?!) Nothing at all special for eats in the house we were in. We (well *I*) was suicidal, I swear. Hey, I did your Sint shite, where's my Santa?! And it was my youngest's first Christmas! And we were skint but there was feck all Christmassy and even less for buying in the shops anyway, because they'd been cleaned out for stupid fecking Sinterklaas!! I swear it was the worst Christmas of my life. Luxury problems right? but still... Sure, they'd had pressies 'from Sinterklaas' (that's another thing, everything is from him, no 'ooh, see what I got from Auntie Flo...'... none of it!) but what about Santa Claus?... '...the night before Christmas and all through the house...' All of it! I was bereft.
Now this will have been different in other households no doubt, but this was my experience almost 40 years ago. Santa Claus did not exist in NL then and Christmas as celebrated in the UK did not happen. And it still doesn't, although bizzarely Santa has made more and more of an appearance over the years. A lot of Dutch keep the Sint 'for the kids' HAH! and I've seen myself at office do's making Zwarte Piet hats for all the office workers' kids and shouting 'Dag, Sinterklaas!' too, and being spoken to in a deep voice (must be that soot again) by Peter and handed sweets and laughed and played the whole game with the rest of them. But then the grown-ups (nowadays) 'do' Christmas but they still just don't GET it. Sigh.
There are shops here that get absolutely pilloried for having anything Christmas before the Sint has left the country on 6 December, but the confusion is still there and the mix of Sint and Santa abounds. Now that'd be early enough really... that's not much later than the start of the sweety advent calendar (I'm a heathen, you can tell)... I can live with that. I very much dislike the UK carry-on of Christmassy things at the end of October already! But they still get it wrong here because there is no Santa's grotto to be found even in the biggest department stores, not an elf to be seen, and presents are for Sinterklaas time so kids don't even expect anything! It's weird and I will never get used to it and will never stop objecting to it either.
Now I know, 'real' Christmas is supposed to be about the nativity... but they don't even do the nativity plays in schools... not even the 'Christian' primaries - something to do with political correctness I think. So there's no tea-cloth on the head with a snake belt, no fighting about who gets to be the angel, who's Mary... hmmm, that could be a good thing actually, but you know what I mean. I just miss it all, and have done for so many years it's ridiculous.
We strived (well, I did) to keep 'Christmas' alive in this house so while the kids were small, we did the whole Sinterklaas thing... we do live here after all... and had Christmas mornings and Christmas dinner (once I finally found where to get a bloody turkey!) As normal as possible when there are no pals to show your new stuff too and the Dutch kids just don't get it. Our girls were lucky that way I suppose but of course as they got older we dropped the Sint, and early Christmas Mornings changed to late Christmas Eves. But still dinner, still presents.
Things have changed here and new UK/US/OZ arrivals are not quite so alienated around Christmas, you can at least get decorations now! (seriously, they were all used at birthdays before!) Turkeys are to be had without special order, toy shops are certainly restocked in time, there's chocolate Santas to be had and the Christmas lights are better every year. But it's still not right. After almost 40 years, I'm thinking it never will be. The Sint comes and screws it all up... for me anyway. Of course I love any excuse to buy my grandsons wee pressies and I gee them up with the songs and the excitement same as anyone else and we're hoping they will be 'quite jocko' this year and not be terrified at the very idea of getting a cadeau (present).
But I'll always be a Santa girl. I did say it was confusing and conflicting didn't I? And by that I mean, as our oldest grandson lives in the UK, I feel sorry for him not getting Sinterklaas! Aww! But I've heard that his mummy is taking him to a party with one wahey! Sinterklaas and Zwarte Piet are making inroads... watch out UK :)
Living here in Holland... it's so conflicting at this time of year. I like it, yet I hate it. I want to take part, but no, I fecking hate it. I like it for the kids, but it ruins my bloody Christmas!
I've felt this way for almost 40 years now... it's probably not healthy.
For those who don't know (so that's like everyone on the planet outside of Holland, barring escapees) the Sint... (Sinterklaas, S. Nicolaas) 'arrives' in the Netherlands, on his ridiculously small 'stoomboot' (steam tug affair) from SPAIN... none of yer Santa's North Pole nonsense.. oh no. Now there's a whole history around it and I know it all but I'm not going to bore anyone here with that... look it up if you're interested and want to warp your brain for half an hour some time. But right, he comes into town, on his wee boat (and his white horse, Amerigo) and as many Black Peter's he can muster (or the council can pay for/arrange somehow... they queue up to be one, honest). There's a whole 'nother controversy about whether Zwarte Piet is black from chimneys (well there's bollix for you) or black because he was 'originally' a black African servant. This controversy gets bigger every year causing a lot of brouhaha I will also not expand upon here other than to say it's very devisive and just adds that extra bit of bleargh to it all for one who dislikes the whole thing anyway (a.k.a... me).
Sinterklaas is not your jolly Santa, but a very serious (if kind) Bishop... of all things... with a big book filled with the names of all the children and details on what they've been up to. This is surreptitiously and serendipitously supplied by quick thinking parents needing their kid reminded to brush their teeth when told, the night before the party, so he can call them up and frighten the life out of them before handing over their present... that sort of thing. The Black Peters frolic around him, being silly and throwing sweets around. Great fun really but so far terrifying to my own grandsons despite the regular singing of Sinterklaas songs for the weeks from his arrival up to his birthday on 6 December.... So like THREE WEEKS from mid-November.
There are no stockings hung here, we leave a shoe... near the window, or a door, if you don't have a fireplace, with a carrot or hay for the Sint's horse, and the usual milk and a biscuit... there are some things similar. Now this can happen in various ways. You (as a child) can put your shoe out every night (Supermarkets let you do it too!) until 5 December (party time... he leaves on the 6th in super stealth style) and only get your present(s) on the 5th... or perhaps once a week, smaller pressies... or every night or every other night a tiny thing (a bit of chocolate perhaps)... it all depends on your behaviour, or what your folks manage to con you into. You tell them that Sinterklaas can't come to all the kids, all the time, then surprise them one morning with a little present because they've been so good... that kinda thing.
Now this is all lovely, and cute and fun... all of that. But I'm a Santa girl. I grew up and started my own kids on Santa, elves and sleighs and reindeer and all things Christmas. This feckin' start of December shite drives me potty!
When we came here to NL it was end September and there was no-one who warned me about this at all. We were in the attic, up a ladder! in these *digs* with two babies and of course we didn't speak Dutch. The 'landlady' had 6 daughters all with families/boyfriends etc (only one small child) but oh let's have a 'Sinterklaas Feest', with 'surprises' (oh god, that's another thing, 'surprises' - same word, different pronunciation, kinda the same meaning but... arghghg). This was just a normal, 3 bedroomed terraced house - the logistics were horrendous for a party with all those folks but ach, in for a penny... . So we spent all we had on presents for everyone, as you do at Christmas, not knowing that generally, grown-ups pull the name of someone in the group attending, out of a hat - so each give one present, in the form of a 'surprise'. Now a surprise is just that really... a present (one you may have asked specifically for, which is another Dutch thing and I don't mean like Santa's letter, I mean like 'what would you like?'... 'xxx please'... 'ok') packed in a surprising way. So a carefully wrapped watch... at the bottom of a cup of custard perhaps? Or a necklace made of tinfoil (but your actual necklace is all wrapped up in there). Or maybe a home made cake, with a box containing a new pen, baked into it. Some folks, when having a proper Sinterklaas party (more for the adults than the kids really) take weeks designing and building say, a doll's house, that comes with all the bits and pieces, and it will contain, after much searching, a concert ticket or... whatever, you get the drift. Each gift is also (traditionally) handed over with a (also traditionally it seems, badly written) poem (although I've honestly yet to hear one that a) has any metre at all, or b) rhymes, unless by mistake at the end of a very long sentence), usually signed 'from the Sint' and mentioning things the receiver has been up to over the past year. Hilarious. If you like that sort of thing. There's always one day at school when the kids exchange 'surprises' too, with prizes for the best one, all of that. We still laugh (mirthlessly) at the 'pencil with a plastic helicopter on the end' that our elder girl got one year... oh they go all out!
Presents are handed out one by one, surprise discovered, poem read... all very convivial. It's just not Christmas. Which of course it isn't. But then, when it's all over... 'hurray, at last the shops can do Christmas stuff'!! Except, when we first came, this was not the case. You couldn't get a chocolate Santa for love nor money. There. was. no. Santa. Full stop. The Sint was yer man and he was off back to Spain (seriously, look it up). Christmas was nativity scenes, BAD carol singing (sooo bad! too slow!! and no Santa/Christmas songs, just carols) going to church (mibbes) and barely even saying Merry Christmas in whatever language! The (horrendously bad) TV *closed down* with the National Anthem at 10 pm... maybe 11 pm?... so no Christmas telly to speak of.
There was NO up early, still dark, ripping open pressies... 'Santa's been!' No kids all over the streets on their new bikes... no turkey in the oven ('Rabbit? RABBIT?!) Nothing at all special for eats in the house we were in. We (well *I*) was suicidal, I swear. Hey, I did your Sint shite, where's my Santa?! And it was my youngest's first Christmas! And we were skint but there was feck all Christmassy and even less for buying in the shops anyway, because they'd been cleaned out for stupid fecking Sinterklaas!! I swear it was the worst Christmas of my life. Luxury problems right? but still... Sure, they'd had pressies 'from Sinterklaas' (that's another thing, everything is from him, no 'ooh, see what I got from Auntie Flo...'... none of it!) but what about Santa Claus?... '...the night before Christmas and all through the house...' All of it! I was bereft.
Now this will have been different in other households no doubt, but this was my experience almost 40 years ago. Santa Claus did not exist in NL then and Christmas as celebrated in the UK did not happen. And it still doesn't, although bizzarely Santa has made more and more of an appearance over the years. A lot of Dutch keep the Sint 'for the kids' HAH! and I've seen myself at office do's making Zwarte Piet hats for all the office workers' kids and shouting 'Dag, Sinterklaas!' too, and being spoken to in a deep voice (must be that soot again) by Peter and handed sweets and laughed and played the whole game with the rest of them. But then the grown-ups (nowadays) 'do' Christmas but they still just don't GET it. Sigh.
There are shops here that get absolutely pilloried for having anything Christmas before the Sint has left the country on 6 December, but the confusion is still there and the mix of Sint and Santa abounds. Now that'd be early enough really... that's not much later than the start of the sweety advent calendar (I'm a heathen, you can tell)... I can live with that. I very much dislike the UK carry-on of Christmassy things at the end of October already! But they still get it wrong here because there is no Santa's grotto to be found even in the biggest department stores, not an elf to be seen, and presents are for Sinterklaas time so kids don't even expect anything! It's weird and I will never get used to it and will never stop objecting to it either.
Now I know, 'real' Christmas is supposed to be about the nativity... but they don't even do the nativity plays in schools... not even the 'Christian' primaries - something to do with political correctness I think. So there's no tea-cloth on the head with a snake belt, no fighting about who gets to be the angel, who's Mary... hmmm, that could be a good thing actually, but you know what I mean. I just miss it all, and have done for so many years it's ridiculous.
We strived (well, I did) to keep 'Christmas' alive in this house so while the kids were small, we did the whole Sinterklaas thing... we do live here after all... and had Christmas mornings and Christmas dinner (once I finally found where to get a bloody turkey!) As normal as possible when there are no pals to show your new stuff too and the Dutch kids just don't get it. Our girls were lucky that way I suppose but of course as they got older we dropped the Sint, and early Christmas Mornings changed to late Christmas Eves. But still dinner, still presents.
Things have changed here and new UK/US/OZ arrivals are not quite so alienated around Christmas, you can at least get decorations now! (seriously, they were all used at birthdays before!) Turkeys are to be had without special order, toy shops are certainly restocked in time, there's chocolate Santas to be had and the Christmas lights are better every year. But it's still not right. After almost 40 years, I'm thinking it never will be. The Sint comes and screws it all up... for me anyway. Of course I love any excuse to buy my grandsons wee pressies and I gee them up with the songs and the excitement same as anyone else and we're hoping they will be 'quite jocko' this year and not be terrified at the very idea of getting a cadeau (present).
But I'll always be a Santa girl. I did say it was confusing and conflicting didn't I? And by that I mean, as our oldest grandson lives in the UK, I feel sorry for him not getting Sinterklaas! Aww! But I've heard that his mummy is taking him to a party with one wahey! Sinterklaas and Zwarte Piet are making inroads... watch out UK :)
Wednesday, October 14, 2015
A day with the deafies
I'm not one for bemoaning my lot (well, not much) but being hard of hearing (although immensely improved since getting a CI) can be a bloody bore at times. I have relatively recently discovered that being among fellow deafies, hearing aid wearers and CI implantees can be very heartening. Last Saturday was another opportunity to sport my CI and discuss things openly, knowing fairly positively that you're not boring the pants off of anyone because everyone there is in the same boat as you. It's really rather liberating!
This time it involved a wee trip to Utrecht to join the St. Plotsdoven (Society for the (Sudden) Deaf') 'Contact Day'. Not being an early riser, I took the liberty of arriving late so missed the first wee talky sessions but that's ok. I found my designated group after the tea-break where a number of items were discussed, such as 'how do your hearing problems affect your relationship?' and 'how has you hearing affected your work situation' (words to that effect). All very interesting. Among the 10 folks in my group, there wasn't one similar situation other than that we all wore a CI now. Nobody travels the same road but we all end up at the same destination :) Well, kinda, in that we all have a CI. But the results really do vary and I have to consider myself among the very luckiest.
I suppose it depends on the individual problem - if you've been totally deaf for years and you can now understand speech with your CI on, you're going to feel great about it all. I can imagine you'd be disappointed if infections after the op caused problems or adjustments still didn't improve your hearing by much. But I got a much bigger improvement to my hearing than I could have hoped for... and fast too! Plus, I wasn't totally deaf, 'only' very hard of hearing. I still think 'they' should adjust the protocol (again) for who gets a CI and when. Of course in the beginning, they were only considered for deaf people and now they are for the hard of hearing too but it's my contention - certainly after hearing some stories - that perhaps including those who are hard of hearing *before* it affects their lives too much, could be a huge advance. Too many (HoH folks) seem to have to wait until they've been almost deaf for too many years. I myself was considered to be 'on the edge' and 'might not improve enough to justify it all'... and yet it has made a huge difference to my level of hearing! I know, it's an expensive joke and all that but... I want for others what I got!
Anyway...
Lunch was yer usual tasty filled roll affair and introductions all round. Hysterically, I made a new friend my age, who lives in Almere, in the same district and with a CI only a few months after me (although at the VU and not Utrecht). I say 'hysterically' because she moved from Weesp (as did we) to Almere, only 2 months before we did - and as a joke I asked 'when's your birthday?' and she's the same month! So, may well be seeing more of her :)
After lunch was 'workshop' time. I'd signed up for 'song signing'...which I just knew I would be no good at but it was fun all the same. I was very surprised to learn it was to be 'The Animals' version of 'House of the Rising Sun' from 1965... I mean I'd expected a nursery rhyme or something easy! And as it's Dutch sign language (NmG/NGT) and that's an English song, I couldn't get my head around how that was even going to work. There's also a whole bit where it's just music, and you're supposed to use mime to cover that part and I just thought 'well that's not happening' haha.
But it was kinda fun, and very informative. I did indeed hold back at miming the empty part... just not that far gone yet!... but it was definitely possible to sign the song at the end of our little workshop. Just how interesting it would look to a proper signer is another story entirely.
Workshop no. 2 was actually mime... or at least facial expressions and how important body language is - certainly to the deaf and hard of hearing. It's rather surprising to learn something you actually instinctively know already. One of the 'games' was like Chinese Whispers... only with no whispers. Five folks stand in a row with their back to the one in front. The one at the back is shown a card with an expression they have to convey to the person in front of them. So... 'fear' for instance. That person conveys what they think shows the word they read, to the one in front of them and so on until the last of the five mimics what they understand to have been conveyed. So funny to watch, especially if the first one already doesn't really pass on anything useful! The end results were really comical and well worth trying at a party too - two word combinations were even funnier, like 'worried and sad'... how the hell do you do that?!
We were then split into groups of 3 or 4 and given an object we had to do a tableau for, which portrayed a story around the item and the other groups had to guess what yours was. We had a book and used it as a bible with a 'marriage ceremony' happening - they got it, although I'm not sure how.
All in all, a fun, informative and interesting 'contact day' held by the society which ended in the usual half hour of drinkypoos and canapes. I've been to a few of their gatherings now and always been glad I went so it all augers well. Nice bunch of folks, well organised and worth chewing through the straps and making the effort for. I even got a lift part of the way home so for the first time experienced being in a car full of deafies... very relaxing because you know, they know and you know, they know you know... you know?
When's the next one?
This time it involved a wee trip to Utrecht to join the St. Plotsdoven (Society for the (Sudden) Deaf') 'Contact Day'. Not being an early riser, I took the liberty of arriving late so missed the first wee talky sessions but that's ok. I found my designated group after the tea-break where a number of items were discussed, such as 'how do your hearing problems affect your relationship?' and 'how has you hearing affected your work situation' (words to that effect). All very interesting. Among the 10 folks in my group, there wasn't one similar situation other than that we all wore a CI now. Nobody travels the same road but we all end up at the same destination :) Well, kinda, in that we all have a CI. But the results really do vary and I have to consider myself among the very luckiest.
I suppose it depends on the individual problem - if you've been totally deaf for years and you can now understand speech with your CI on, you're going to feel great about it all. I can imagine you'd be disappointed if infections after the op caused problems or adjustments still didn't improve your hearing by much. But I got a much bigger improvement to my hearing than I could have hoped for... and fast too! Plus, I wasn't totally deaf, 'only' very hard of hearing. I still think 'they' should adjust the protocol (again) for who gets a CI and when. Of course in the beginning, they were only considered for deaf people and now they are for the hard of hearing too but it's my contention - certainly after hearing some stories - that perhaps including those who are hard of hearing *before* it affects their lives too much, could be a huge advance. Too many (HoH folks) seem to have to wait until they've been almost deaf for too many years. I myself was considered to be 'on the edge' and 'might not improve enough to justify it all'... and yet it has made a huge difference to my level of hearing! I know, it's an expensive joke and all that but... I want for others what I got!
Anyway...
Lunch was yer usual tasty filled roll affair and introductions all round. Hysterically, I made a new friend my age, who lives in Almere, in the same district and with a CI only a few months after me (although at the VU and not Utrecht). I say 'hysterically' because she moved from Weesp (as did we) to Almere, only 2 months before we did - and as a joke I asked 'when's your birthday?' and she's the same month! So, may well be seeing more of her :)
After lunch was 'workshop' time. I'd signed up for 'song signing'...which I just knew I would be no good at but it was fun all the same. I was very surprised to learn it was to be 'The Animals' version of 'House of the Rising Sun' from 1965... I mean I'd expected a nursery rhyme or something easy! And as it's Dutch sign language (NmG/NGT) and that's an English song, I couldn't get my head around how that was even going to work. There's also a whole bit where it's just music, and you're supposed to use mime to cover that part and I just thought 'well that's not happening' haha.
But it was kinda fun, and very informative. I did indeed hold back at miming the empty part... just not that far gone yet!... but it was definitely possible to sign the song at the end of our little workshop. Just how interesting it would look to a proper signer is another story entirely.
Workshop no. 2 was actually mime... or at least facial expressions and how important body language is - certainly to the deaf and hard of hearing. It's rather surprising to learn something you actually instinctively know already. One of the 'games' was like Chinese Whispers... only with no whispers. Five folks stand in a row with their back to the one in front. The one at the back is shown a card with an expression they have to convey to the person in front of them. So... 'fear' for instance. That person conveys what they think shows the word they read, to the one in front of them and so on until the last of the five mimics what they understand to have been conveyed. So funny to watch, especially if the first one already doesn't really pass on anything useful! The end results were really comical and well worth trying at a party too - two word combinations were even funnier, like 'worried and sad'... how the hell do you do that?!
We were then split into groups of 3 or 4 and given an object we had to do a tableau for, which portrayed a story around the item and the other groups had to guess what yours was. We had a book and used it as a bible with a 'marriage ceremony' happening - they got it, although I'm not sure how.
All in all, a fun, informative and interesting 'contact day' held by the society which ended in the usual half hour of drinkypoos and canapes. I've been to a few of their gatherings now and always been glad I went so it all augers well. Nice bunch of folks, well organised and worth chewing through the straps and making the effort for. I even got a lift part of the way home so for the first time experienced being in a car full of deafies... very relaxing because you know, they know and you know, they know you know... you know?
When's the next one?
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