Dreaming

Today, I will mostly be talking about dreams.

Not those things we each aspire to. Not those things we save up for and never quite achieve, nor those ideas we have that don’t entirely match the image presented to us in the bedroom mirror. I mean those things that float around in our heads while we are asleep. Some of those might be classed as nightmares. Depends how you look at them maybe? And to what degree a nightmare? But in general, I’m referring to the stories, whole films with beginnings, middles and ends sometimes, as well as those totally random scenarios, where you’re quite at home in a totally unfamiliar place, with complete ‘onbekenden’ that you do somehow know, doing and saying things you have never done, nor ever would do. Or is that just me?

I do have those regularly. So, what is a dream at all? Why do some people say they never remember them or never have them? What does it say about a person who is otherwise perfectly sane (ahem) yet has the weirdest dreams? I for one have never had anything to do with gorillas, nor any kind of sexual relationship with anyone remotely resembling a gorilla, and yet would cheerfully wipe all memory of the dream about just that particular thing. That’s surely classed as a weird one.

I of course can only speak for myself, on dreams that I vaguely do remember. Some are so daft, it makes you wonder what I’m not remembering. I’d like to dream about nice things, things I’d want to remember, however unlikely the scenario, but there is no telling what’s ahead in dreamland, once you shut your eyes. Well, not in my head anyway.

Last night – probably this morning, I sleep late - there was a long one about, what was it about? That happens too, I have it right there in my head and as soon as I go to tell about it, it fades (thank feck for that, says he who positively hates hearing about my latest escapades in dreamland). However, I made a point of remembering this one so there is not too much random embellishment.

It was all to do with a talent show. X-Factor kind of thing? Yet not, not at all. There were various singers up there, one after the other, in a bright room (I’m looking through a window, as you do (?) ) and then I’m Louis, bent over, leaning on a chair in front of me (him) saying ‘aye, he’s good’ and ‘no, off!’ and the performers keep changing, like in a flipbook so fast, male and female, young and old, and I know them all, but I know none of them. I feel sorry for them all attempting Whitney Houston’s ‘I will always love you’ and they all fail as soon as the ‘And IIIIIIIeeIII…’ kicks in. Buzz… Buzz… Then there is a wee Indian lad, sings it great! Top notes and all, and I’m all tearing up behind my window there. I think P was involved at some point, not sure now. If I’m honest, I’d just be inventing more if I wrote it down and things are insane enough without me adding anything in there.

So this was quite a long and involved one. About stuff I am not particularly interested in and mostly involving people and places to which I have no connection. See, I could understand it more if it was all familiar people doing ordinary things, even if I was watching it all from ‘off stage’, so to speak. It’s the random, mental stuff I find confusing.

Some dreams, I’ll get up for the loo and tell myself not to think too much wakeyuppy things ‘so I can get back in there’. Whole films that have gone on all night (probably about five minutes, hah) that seem to be going somewhere. Then, damned if I can remember the feckers. I think I actually dream most nights. It’s just, I don’t get it.

I don’t believe the dream analysis stuff I stupidly wasted an hour on one day. If I did, I fear I’d be knocking at the door of the secure wing somewhere, to take me off the streets. I don’t hold with all that ‘if you dream about xx, it means xx’… I honestly could not afford to be going down that murky alleyway. And anyway, what do they know? What a nonsense!

The flying car though. That’s another one I’ve had a few times. I don’t drive and the most I’ve done is one trial lesson - not for me thanks! I was always even the passenger on the dodgems - so steering a car through the clouds was quite the revelation. I was doing gears and all. I don’t understand gears so I’m patently better at things in my dreams than in real life. The only flying car I’ve ever seen or read about was in Harry Potter (which really sparked the memories of this dream which predates all that) so hey… maybe it was a premonition? Although, why would I predict a thing, in my head, from someone else’s imagination? Seems unlikely. Pass

I rarely dream about loved ones. Although I do remember one where mum was railing at me about something. It was all in Dutch too, which was quite the revelation. I remember lying there, thinking, in an aside to the dream, that this was a weird dream, mum doesn’t speak Dutch! I quite like those ones, where you are aware that you are dreaming all this bollix, but still don’t wake up. I have tried to steer those ones but it never works. I get lost in the dream before I realise it. That’s a thing too actually, which language am I dreaming in? I don’t really know any more. There was a time when there was a definite crossover, but now I don’t even notice. They’re probably in both languages, swapping about as I go. Me talking Dutch to non-Dutch speakers that understand me perfectly, and non-Dutch acquaintances, babbling away to me in Dutch… or half and half, kinda like I speak to folks at times. I’m barely aware when I do it when awake so knowing while sleeping is pushing it somewhat. Suffice to say, we all understand each other. Except for why any of us are there… in the dream, not in waking life.

I have laughed at a dream a few times. You have to when it's one where you woke up mad at him! That rat! What he’d been up to (in the dream) was well worth a good punch on the nose! Had one like that a couple of times, poor man had done nothing wrong and I was well p’d off with him for ages after waking. Even knowing ‘it was just a dream!’ Daft eh? But oh, you… !

I don’t think I’d like to have a dreamy premonition. That’d put me off sleeping for the duration! I don’t want visions thank you very much and it freaks me enough just seeing through my eyelids when shut, and in bed. Of course I don’t, I’ve obviously just dozed off, but that’s quite enough of that, thank you. I ain’t no Bernadette and to be fair, nothing holy ever transpires in any of my dreams. Phew. I wish to be no one’s conduit between ‘there’ and ‘here’… just sayin’.

I forget, is it during REM sleep they think you dream, or before, or after? I know there are sleep studies but also know they will never know what is happening in an individual’s brain during sleep. They might see flashes on some graph or other, but they will never have the pictures I’m seeing. I like the idea that your brain is re-booting your system, but don’t like to think of the reasons why I’d be dreaming stuff I am totally not connected to in any way. The question also arises, do psychopaths (big bad baddies) dream differently? Are they all about nasty things, but they enjoy them so not a nightmare? Or are they all daisies and fairies and puppies and stuff, in contrast to their waking hours? Does your brain find other stuff for you to think about just to keep you on your toes? Or does it present things to you totally randomly just to sort out your filing? I just don’t get how I can dream of things, discuss even, things I have no knowledge of. Why is such stuff even in my brain at all? For the shuffling of? For the rebooting?

Anaesthetic is totally strange too, no? That blanks you out entirely (thank goodness!) and just when you’ve closed your eyes, you open them again, even if hours (days) later and you haven’t even dreamed at all and had a great ‘sleep’ even if enforced. Nothing memorable in there anyway. What’s that about?

There’s also the theory that we use, what is it, like only a fraction of our brain capacity and scientists know so very little about our brains in general. They know millions more than they used to, but still don’t know, so, so much. We could all do so much more if we just access it, somehow, apparently. More like what though? More crazy dreams? Is the inaccessible part where all our knowledge really lies? Why I dream about crazy stuff, is because it is all in there and only comes free for perusal during dreams, when it’s all being reshuffled, to fit the disc better? Then once I’m ‘reformatted’ there’s more room for more facts that cross-reference to other, older facts and occurrences and… dreams?

All of the above cannot account for the fact that everyone, everywhere, has always dreamed though. Compuspeak is pretty new after all. It’s quite a good theory though, I think. The wait now is for some smarty pants to actually be able to access someone’s dreams. I believe they can already influence them to some extent. We can all already instruct ourselves please not to dream last night’s one again because that was shite! It works sometimes! Just not sure if it works because we said so.

But dreams eh? You have to wonder.