Travelling light

It's been an eventful week since last blether. J and I went to Edinburgh for the weekend to see the offspring and I've since been back to UMC for more adjustment.

I think I mentioned, I was looking forward to trying out my CI surrounded by familiar accents. Turns out it's not as straightforward as I thought it would be - "here, I don't pick up words without listening properly, there I do" (to paraphrase my own words) - not at all actually. I did get the feeling that I understood things perhaps marginally easier in English when I listen and it's true that I do hear a tad more 'in the passing', (I really checked to see). But nothing really that I could call useful in any degree. So HUH!... me and 'my theory'. This is a recurring theme hahaha, but another story.

I used my 'I am a CI wearer' pass as Schiphol airport which means I don't have to go through a scanner. Not a problem there, they just gave me a thorough pat down. But at Edinburgh, on the way home... oho! suspect no. 294 turns up (me!). Jeezo.

After having a lovely weekend, my home town really let me down. I showed the card and was directed through a door next to the scanner... so far so good, but then... 'You can go through this scanner instead of the gate one'... ('this one' being the one where you stand and raise your arms and are well... scanned). So I said, 'no, I can't with my CI.' As I understood it (more later) the scanner can cause damage to the implant so, no thanks! 'That's ok, our coordinator (or someone) will now speak to you then.' Comes a very officious young man, got his whole spiel down pat. Meanwhile, J insists on joining me while being spoken to (thank goodness, but god the FUSS they made! You'd think he was trying to escape the stalag).

Spiel - 'I understand you have a CI, but this scanner is perfectly harmless so just go through there please. Oh you are refusing that? Then we have an alternative for you. If you'd just like to follow my colleague, two female officers will search you in private. Your luggage will also be opened and searched through thoroughly.' What?! No feckin' way! Why such a hostile carry on? It was just scandalous.

We ask how long this would take (we've only got like 40 minutes before the flight to A'dam takes off). 'I really couldn't say madam.' 'Well, why do I have to do this?! I can't go through the scanner, my bloody head could explode for all I know!' I was bloody frantic by now really but I said ok, I'm being forced through the scanner, on your head be it if there is any damage. 'No madam, it will definitely not be on my head, it's your decision. I have offered you an alternative'. Aye right! total bastard that ye ur!

So, anyway I was really bottling it by this time and almost crying to be honest. But here's the daft bit... I handed the processor (the part that attaches to my head) to the other wee man before going through the scanner. He then hands it to the woman who called me through, who then handed it back to me. I really refused to wear it and he accepted that. Then phew, ok, my head didn't explode and everything still works but my heart was going like the clappers believe you me. And the bomb I was carrying, (aka my CI!) didn't go through any scanner or get checked at all. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Proof positive that they are one and all eejits!

Now, not done with that whole story yet but let me just interject this next bit... I have since read more and enquired about 'scanners at airports'. Turns out I was perhaps just a wee bit too worried (are you sensing a pattern? :) ). It's things like MRI scans and PET scans, those medical affairs, that I can't have without mentioning things to allow them to 'take measures', as they can affect the implant negatively. The thing about airports is that I will then definitely set off an alarm, and the pass is just to explain why that has happened. It can also perhaps upset the settings on the CI but that's easily enough remedied, if inconvenient. There is no head explosion involved. hehe, so phew! But seriously, I was upset about the treatment. Why could they not just give me a pat-down like in Schiphol? Use one of the paddle scanners to avoid my head or something? And why, when my luggage was already through the scanner (and cleared might I add) would it then also need to be opened specifically, seeing as I was being searched? It's just ludicrous and extremely customer unfriendly. Telling me 'it's perfectly safe even with a CI' (which turned out to be true, ok) didn't really help because they'd say anything really and you just know they don't know a thing about CIs so... oh I'm so angry about it really. Rats!

So anyway, I'm finally through, as is James, but his bag is held back because... wait for it... the toiletries are not in a sealed (read ziplock) transparent plastic bag like the ones lying around on offer. They are in a sealed (read zipped) transparent plastic bag - the same one they've been in for numerous previous trips here there and everywhere. Quelle horror! So everything had to be overloaded into other bags, just as transparent as the original only not the ones as provided. You wouldn't credit it really. Oh and a tube of whatever was confiscated, as too large, despite having only dregs in it and despite being in that bag for years and loads of trips already. You despair, you really do, but we got away and onto the flight just in time. Bloody carry on.

Just as a wee tidbit to add to the whole scanner affair let me tell you this story. I once acted as 'secret visitor' (can't remember exactly the name) at 'an airport'. I had to try and smuggle a weapon through the gate. This was to check just how well the (random) checks worked. This day I had a 'gun'... a metal lump in the shape of a pistol, stashed in my bra. Four times out of the five 'trips' I made that particular day my contraband was missed. That's four times out of five. If I'd been a baddy, I was through! One person even touched it and asked what it was. I said 'underwiring' and I got the 'have a good flight'. The fifth time, although I got 'captured', they then just laughed ('oh... you!) and still didn't ask to see my weapon. Just took me at my word so really I could just have been lying some more. There were a few unhappy border guards that day believe me. I was dead pleased with myself and my acting abilities hehehe, but really, not good eh? So yes, I understand we do have to have checks, and be thorough blabla... but I still feel it was all a tad overboard and not handled correctly at Edinburgh. Oh, one good point, J was there to help me hear what was said, but thanks to the very thing causing the problem, I heard it all :)

Anyway... today I've been at UMC once more for adjustments. The last two weeks on the latest settings haven't been great if I'm honest. Too much 'boom' with bass sounds and too much 'tinkle' with higher sounds (it's hard to know what to call it hehehe). Still better than my hearing aids, so it's crap to be critical, but it wasn't really comfortable and I preferred the previous setting, but on trying that out, I was noticing more 'boom' on there too.

So we fiddled about, fiddled about, up and down and fiddled about... trying different settings and changing things back and forward. It's quite difficult and they are always pretty patient really... and we may just have cracked it. This sounds pretty damn good. There is a limit of course on just how loud and 'complete' the sounds can be adjusted to.

You have to laugh though - every time, and I mean every time the audiologist asks, 'how does that sound now?'... then that's it, he stops talking! He looks at you with a questioning expression, awaiting your answer... in silence! How the hell can anyone say if they don't talk to let you listen and decide? I tell them this every bloody time but they always forget - it's a bit frustrating. It can't just be me they do this with. Of course then they do a bit rambling on, saying nonsense to fill the space and let me listen for a bit, but why can't they finally learn that part? Just do it already? It's daft really.

My appointment next week is to adjust my hearing aids to their best levels... not really sure they'll be able to fix them as they're 'old' now. I'd rather have them adjusted though, than already go through the whole shenanigans of getting new ones. It takes soooo feckin' long to get a) earpieces that fit well, b) the HA that is best suited to your audiogramme and c) them finally adjusted so that you hear best with them despite what said audiogramme shows! These ones, I do really, really like them, but they took about 18 months to get to a stage where I wasn't back at the shop every couple of weeks... drove me bonkers. And I have 'in the ear' earpieces, with a 'behind the ear' aid, which gave unique problems of their own. I still refuse to go back to the 'shell' type earpieces though, as I hear so much better (when they work right!) with the in-ear ones. The girl in the shop said she wouldn't allow me to get them as they've been rather problematic to say the least. But I really don't think she can make that call so, sorry dear but I'll decide that part.

In NL, we get new aids via health insurance (covered up to 75%, I think is the deal at the moment?) every 5 or 6 years depending on this that or the other. Mine are now six years old so definitely due but what with this year being CI year, I really hope to postpone it all for at least another year, hopefully two. UMC will hopefully adjust both aids to fit my right ear stats and I'll be all hunkydory for a whiley yet.

I really am so lucky. Mind you, I'd prefer ears that did what they are designed for... hearing!