Blessed are the...

             Coming out of the shower after sleeping late this morning (not a rare thing) it occurred to me once again… how blessed, how spoiled I am. I know it. Of course it’s nothing new. Of course it’s not always apparent (we all have bad days), but over all, I do know just how 'lucky' I am. I truly do. Top to toe… le’ssee now.

I’m grey and have ‘embraced’ it for years already. Dyeing it was just stupid and the dark hair did not suit me any more, no, no and no. I like it short too… sometimes too short I’m told, but can’t abide a quiff. I don’t have dandruff or other scalp conditions.

I don’t need glasses any more to see long-distance (strange but true), but using the magnifying mirror scares the shit out of me these days so I try to pluck ‘extra curricular’ hairs without it. I’ve noticed too when reading in bed with my reading glasses (still necessary)... omg, the wrinkles in my arms! When did that happen?! It’s only to be expected though, I am but a sneeze away from being seventy years old. The proverbial three score and ten! I’m doing pretty damned good though!

Ears… well they’re a bogey of course. Deaf as a deaf thing! But my implant and hearing aids work great and it’s sometimes nice to not hear a thing… there are definitely advantages at times.

Teeth, well they just recently cost me a fortune to finally sort out but are all my own apart from one implant and three crowns, plus a few fillings.

I have a bit of a turkey neck affair going on, but again, I’m almost seventy. I don’t have to like it, but I’m not depressed about it. I’m wondering if the boobs were ever ‘perky’? But they’re still okay, seen way worse. The belly… well, that has long been a bone of contention in this house and my worst ‘feature’ (barring fingernails) but if I care to work at it, I can lose it a bit (witness, ‘the wedding’). It’s just… I’m seventy! Such a faff.

Hips, knees, shoulders, elbows, ankles… some wear and tear, nothing desperate. I can still walk just fine despite a bit of pain in one knee from a recent fall and we regularly walk many kilometres (him more’n me - I don't do daily). Bit of an achy hip sometimes if I lie too long. I can’t quite do the ‘rise from crossed legs on the floor’ trick, but I could get there with practice, I think. Arms still go way above my head. (freaks me out that others as old, cannot). Upper arms have long displayed batwing affairs, but ach. Ankles, are supple and fairly strong although I don’t jump ditches often enough to test ‘em out. Spine could be worse but could be better. It’s not that long since I climbed a fence though - managed that fine. Lower back pain at times, nothing major.

No varicose veins in the legs. Knees are decidedly wrinkly, but legs still look okay if I wear tights even if I do say so myself. Feet are great too… no bunions, no corns or verucas, minimal callous, not flat, not too high an arch, straight toes. Toenails intermittently a disgrace (fingernails intermittently nice to see!) but generally reasonable with no horse’s hoof horrors going on.

Skin, worth donating if I die suddenly, put it that way. Generally pretty good and only as wrinkled as it should be, where expected. Only operations I’ve had are tear ducts, carpal tunnel and my cochlear implant. No organs involved and minimal (read ‘no’) scarring

Internally, I’m grand. Lungs clear (despite the coughing and throat clearing - been checked). Heart too. Bladder gives me gyp at regular overactive intervals, but manageable (if miserable when on the go). Innards are generally grand - I’m as windy as the next person (disputably) and satisfactorily ‘regular’ thank you very much. Long past the menopause, which wasn't plain sailing, but nothing really dreadful). I’m a supporter of the ‘use it or lose it’ brigade so do alright on that score too.

My BP is normal for my age group so don’t need tablets for that and I’m not on statins or ‘water’ tablets or indeed any meds at all. I take supplements of varying effectiveness, when I remember.

Generally, I’m slightly overweight, at the top end of the BMI scale so, room for improvement, but nothing dreadful. Call me obese and you’re dead! Memory is shot, have to admit, but I’m not demented yet and the brain seems to be agile enough… who are you? 😉

I live a mostly unstressed, comfortable life, enriched (very) regularly these days of retirement, with travelling, home and abroad, with no huge money worries and in our own unmortgaged home. My husband is attentive, kind, infuriating (probably the only time my BP goes up), helpful and a great laugh on best days. I neither shop, nor cook because it’s all taken care of for me, by him. All travelling is also arranged for me, I only have to pack. I’m ruined! But I’m thinking, this care also contributes to my health and wellbeing! I understand this and appreciate it.

See when you list it all? Man… you should be so lucky!

The bedroom blinds

 I feel like I’ve mentioned my bedroom blinds before. I think I have, yeah. 

Anyway, let’s talk stupid fuckin blinds.

They weren’t always stupid; they were rather snazzy. SoTA even! Concertina folded, ziggzaggy affairs, showing white from outside, dark blue from inside. Pull from top down or bottom up. Hang in the middle? Why, yes, they do! Great stuff!

Until the strings broke, way too soon to be replacing the whole thing, one after the other. First hanging lopsided, then another breaks and the wonkiness is evened out, but can no longer be lowered top to bottom. But, aha! they can still be raised, bottom to top and left hanging halfway up instead of halfway down! Sorted. No one need ever know there is a problem.

Now, some might say, ‘so have them restrung’. Yes, yes, I couldn’t agree more (I’m the one who says that so, I can only agree). ‘Others’ say, ‘they’ll do for now, look, still work’ and ‘nobody restrings blinds!’ (which is moot, to be fair - and if they don’t, why don’t they?)

To be fair too, they do still work. To a certain extent. 

Just not enough for me to ever touch the feckers because I’ve been there before and I no longer play that game. I just leave the Grand Old Duke to sort them up when they’re up and down when they’re down.

The story is… it’s me!

Small chip showing there? Plate’s fine, will last forever… until I touch the fecker. Smashes to smithers when I use it.

Book spine a bit loose? Been like that for yonks, will last forever… until I decide to read it.

Door handle jiggly? Never been a (real) problem, will last forever… until I’m left with it in my hand.

A door key only breaks *in* the lock when it’s mine… you get the picture.

So I have avoided lifting or closing the blinds. Has been years now. He has to do it, I just refuse. I will not be responsible.

Then, a week or so ago, another string broke. It was only the day before that he’d moaned ‘you could do the blinds once in a while, you know!’ and I’d reiterated the reason for my aversion to going anywhere near them. So I kind of dodged a bullet there as it was obviously the proverbial ‘accident waiting to happen’. Of course, all hell broke loose as the bloody thing just would not raise (or lower, I forget which, probably both). I hadn’t been near so it couldn’t even be ascribed to my proximity (also said at regular intervals! I almost believe my ‘aura’ is plain destructive).

Oh, how I laughed, watching him wrestle with the thing. Was hysterical. Did not make me popular at all, having genuine joy at proof positive it isn’t just me. He still had the 2^nd blind on the other window to do but it remained untouched for at least 24 hours as he fumed about being laughed at about his magic touch letting him down. I probably overplayed my hand, but it had been a while coming, so I was enjoying myself.

Somehow, he managed to get things working again (marginally, lopsidedly) and ‘we’ persevere with the raggedy things, strings flapping. I still don’t go near them and merely await the day that no amount of fixing, tying and jerking at the strings enables movement in any direction, at which time we’ll surely get the finger out and buy new ones. Finally. 

I will be enquiring about restringing first though, just so I know (I’m bloody sure you can but perhaps costs are prohibitive, I’m not completely daft) and we might go for something entirely different next time. 

Like bricking up the windows!