'Travel' Woes (and other random rants)

I have a ‘love/hate’ relationship with my OVchipkaart. This is the Dutch public transport chip card, used on buses, trams and trains for the whole country. You ‘check in’ on boarding, you ‘check out’ at your end destination (by train), or when you change buses/trams. No messing with tickets, fab. Handy. All good things! I hated it at first, but do like it now. I swore 'it'll never work' when it was introduced haha, and it does, damn it.

You can have a nameless one which you ‘load up’ at a machine with at least €10 (bus/tram) or (I think?) €20 for the train. Checking in deducts a nominal fee of €4 (bus/tram) or €10 (train) and when you check out, your balance is restored depending on the cost of your journey. So, if you only travelled for 85c, your balance gets a restitution immediately of €3.15. Note the word immediately, so it IS possible.

Conveniently, you can have a named one and choose to ‘top it up’ automatically via your bank account. When it gets to below a certain amount on your balance, it deducts that €20. Which is fine, although if you just happen not to be going anywhere again for ages, you’ve paid ahead for way too long, which is irritating, but I can live with that. Mostly.

There are just a couple of things that really boil my piss about the whole system though. Allow me to elaborate.

I know how it works. I do! Check-in, check-out, deductions, restitutions… all fine and dandy. But aside from this extra money you’ve paid to them, they have the annoying habit of not actually deducting it from our bank account immediately (although it is added to your card, so I suspect that's to do with the bank? whatever...) and (of course, depending on your amount of travel) are capable of taking off 3x€20 in one go! Now sure, I’ve done the travelling, obvs, I do owe it to them, but why the delay? €20 each time is ok, I get it, but €60 bucks being deducted suddenly when it’s perhaps a few days later and you forgot about it (easily done) can really screw with my version of economics!

Now, I have this problem with Paypal too actually. I’ve paid for something online via Paypal (works great, but for the following). If no balance in my Paypal account, it comes off my bank account. Which I sign up for, yes, don’t moan at me! But it takes three fecking days for the thing to come off my bank account and by that time, I’ve spent more than is in there BECAUSE my balance there hasn’t yet been adjusted for Paypal shite! I KNOW all this, and it is my own fault but it’s still bloody annoying!

So, back to the OVchipkaart. For whatever reason, and let’s face it, there are multiple that I won’t list here, largely because I can’t think of a specific one, just that I do, do it… I FORGET TO CHECK OUT! I can be still on the bus and forget if I’ve even checked IN yet but that’s another matter. Now, the company has a fabby wee thing you sign up for, needed for tubes like me, to warn me (us, there must be plenty of us around) that I ‘forgot to check out, and allows me to claim back that nominal fee, minus my actual fare via the website they conveniently email you about. You fill in where you did actually get off (as honestly as your diary reminds you where the hell you went on that day - without which I would have to just guess) and Bob’s your uncle, you can claim it all back next time you’re at one of the machines at the station - just swipe your card after pressing the right buttons (which can sometimes be a puzzle for me and surely are for plenty more, but I digress). Great stuff. But!!!... it only allows you to do this THREE TIMES Jan-June and another three times Jul-Sep. WTF? Did not know that before. I obviously didn't go over my allotted number of fuck-ups before. But now I have and probably, statistically, and knowing me, will do again!

So, the page you can look up has the audacity to tell you, ‘You didn’t check out on xxx, but you’ve already claimed back three times this six-month period so haha, we’re keeping it!’(words to that effect). Well, thanks for that! I really strongly object to this. They could have chosen just not to list any more 'you didn't check out' after the three, but they KNOW of more and TELL me so, but don't allow any claims!! As mentioned, there are loads of reasons why I (and others, I just know there are others) regularly do not check out! I understand the deterrent the company is laying on folks, so encouraging the whole check-in/check-out usage… sure I do! But that’s MY money you are keeping there! You KNOW I’ve done it, you even tell me what stop I got on at and what date and how much you have already deducted but do not allow me to sort things and claim back what I did not spend on my route! This doesn’t happen much on trains as there are very few stations with no barriers where you have to use your card to pass through, but there are some and I am definitely capable of then forgetting to use my card… like I said, loads of actual reasons why things don’t always work as they should… so it is mostly on the bus (and rarely on a tram, also possible) that I just miss the fecker or haven’t even checked in properly (so when I think I’m checking out, I’m actually checking in)… it’s a nightmare!

I want my fecking money back. Not least because that €20 gets deducted even sooner than expected because it’s all used up with me not checking out properly. And I know how it works, I KNOW to do it and I’m not trying to cheat anyone but you, OVchipkaart company, are stealing from me! You have the capability, it’s all automated, so pay me my bloody money and stop punishing me for being an idiot, thank you very much. How very bloody dare you!

I’m not even sure who to officially complain to about this but I’m going to find out. I do try assiduously not to fuck up, but I patently do - they keep reminding me I do, because I asked them to! Multiply all the other thousands who surely do too - there will be some who don’t even go through the hoops necessary to claim anything back I’m sure - and that’s a nice wee earner someone has going there! This needs to stop.

So, got that off my chest!